Friday, December 25, 2009

merry christmas.

merry christmas!
we made ginger bread creations last night.

mom and i made ours into a christmas present.

si and nichel made theirs into an aztec temple ruin.

dad and dane made theirs into an english cottage with a
smoking fireplace.

mom and i won!

hope you're having a happy christmas!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

adam the snowman.

happy christmas eve!
i hope you're having a magical holiday.

*the snowman's name is adam.
he is supposed to look like my sisters boyfriend,
who is currently in fiji serving an lds mission.
but he's not actually that short. in fact, he's rather tall.

merry christmas everyone.

do yourself a favor....

...tell yourself you're fabulous.

today i didn't think much of myself.
it was rough. and i was exhausted.
i prayed that i could just go home and hide from life.
but instead...i received an unexpected phone call from an old friend.
they said exactly what i needed to hear.
i smiled.
i sat eating a twix, when the man across the counter
told me that i meant something to someone.
and i hadn't realized they even cared.
i smiled again.
while watching the office,
i chose to let myself rely on someone who could help.
i then felt beautiful. and so very loved.
i smiled a lot.
and then i found this picture.
and couldn't help but feel proud of myself.
i had no fear then.
and look at that smile.

so do yourself a favor...tell yourself you're fabulous.
cause you are.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

that girl will rock your world.

the girls.
i miss you dearly.

read about us here.
and see us being completely awesome here.
and read even more right here.
and see what they mean to me here.
see us rock glenwood here.
see aubry's life change here.
and see more pictures
from our week spent in cheyenne below...

love you.

the woman i'll become.

paper tissue

more of my poetry-

cut through the summer heat.
with a fork and a knife i'll eat.

golden skin. and a sunburnt back.
her hair blows wild, but her mind's intact.

named brave, she dives into black water
standing unique in tradition of her father.

moistened fingertips in a purple shirt...
fighting against a world of hurt.

tossing that lie, she'll sing her own song.
those goldish strands growing long.

eyes sting in the summer heat.
for her flag will never signal defeat.

*i wrote this poem one day when i was picturing the kind of person...the kind of woman i want to become.

old poetry.

paper tissue

when you tell me hello,
don't look away.
when you say that you mean it,
mean it today.

don't feel you must kneel.
to see truth in my eye.
stand near please,
its not me but the tears i may cry.

show me your fingers,
when you say you're for real.
my heart won't lie.
but it's the pain it can feel.

i sing for the times ahead.
love in its glory is like a riddle.
but no, i'm not afraid.
well. perhaps just a little.

hold my chilly hand.
as we cross the realms of whatever.
just don't go away,
please. want me, forever.

*so, i used to write poetry a lot. just a hobby of mine that i enjoy. i haven't so much lately, but i found an old notebook tonight with some poems of mine from a few years ago....thought it'd be fun to share. enjoy.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

the niceties of life.

my aunt sandy is in town. i've spent most of the day lounging around with her, watching movies and laughing. she has always been very important to me. sandy is one of the most positive, uplifting people to be around. and she is fighter. which i much admire.
when i was a small girl she would take my sisters and i to this small stream that was surrounded with large, magical oak trees (i thought all trees were magical when i was younger). she'd help us build bridges and make believe that we were creating a world of our very own.
today as we sat chatting, we began talking about those
little, pleasant things in life that seem to pop up just when you need them. you know-- the small, lovely things that come up so unexpectedly.

my aunt sandy calls them,
the niceties of life...
like when you have to clean out the freezer
(not a super fun thing to do)
but....then, to your
delight, you find a box of chocolates frozen in the back.
or perhaps, when you go to work feeling a bit drab, and the first person to walk in informs you of what
beautiful blue eyes you have. and at one of those, oh so rare moments in life when you can't stop smiling at the face in front of you...and you don't know why; it's giddy and so beautiful. oh and when your lovely friend, who happens to be a chef, comes up for sunday dinner and brings you a double, dark chocolate-cherry cupcake straight from heaven. and you are hesitant to admit it, but you ate two of them and now feel significantly larger.
maybe it's simply the laughs you get from watching the random things going on around you during church, or when you choose to drive through a blizzard in a 98' toyota camry to get to the vending machine for a much needed dr. pepper and consequently get stuck in a snowbank...but sit there, laughing at yourself for a good ten minutes.
so i don't really know. maybe it's a delightful cupcake. maybe it's a kiss on the forehead. maybe it's a lazy sunday with one of your coolest aunts.

it's a warm day...a small running stream, a little house with adventure and love... in my own whimsical world amongst the oak trees.

mmm...i really enjoy the niceties of life.

this time one year ago....

{nichel, siera, and me}
....we were headed to the bahamas.

i kinda miss i stare out the window and see a blanket of snow.
but then again, it's kind of nice...
wrapped up in a blanket by the fireplace.

Friday, December 11, 2009

little love birds.

i found this little piece of artwork online.
and i immediately fell in love with it.

"love birds"
geninne zlatikis


found at the one and only, urban outfitters.
i really just fell in love with the fact that the birds
have on snow hats.

maybe i'll ask santa for it this year.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

hatch family chocolates

today, k2 and I had a little outing in salt lake.
we drove up to do some christmas shopping and visit a recent love of mine...
called hatch family chocolates.

i highly recommend taking a trip up there.
it's located in the avenues...
and is so yummy.

we then headed over to the gateway and did some christmas shopping.

it looked so festive with all the holiday lights in the trees.
christmas is honestly so charming!
and then of course, we made a stop by anthropologie.
it was way too enjoyable, as always.

we had a nice time out in the city.

Monday, December 7, 2009

missing you this christmas time.

{picture taken while night boarding at brighton ski resort}
i miss my girls. my three best friends.
we all seperated this past year. this is my first christmas in three years
where they will not be here. it's a little sad for me.

so, i've decided to put up a few pictures of our past Christmases together.
christmas 2008

i believe in you jessica.

there they are. my three girls. miss you!

i like this picture of aubry.
there is a cool story to that christmas tree...

so, us four girls went to pick out the tree at a tree lot up on state street. it was a long, rigorous process, because of course...we couldn't agree on any tree. oh, and it was 'deaf day' for aubry. which was basically a really dumb assignment for her deaf culture class, where she had to 'pretend' to be deaf for a day. so that was kind of complicated in and of itself. but erin and i had a good time with that one. anyhow...we finally picked out a tree and went up to the salesman to pay for it. he went and grabbed the tree while we were all standing around talking. 'where would you like the tree?' he asked, without asking for any money. 'well, we need to pay for it first' we responded. 'no its taken care of, that gentleman over there just paid for it as a gift to you.' we were stunned. to be honest, i don't think we had even noticed this gentlman in the tree lot before this moment. but we looked over and saw an older man getting into his car. we smiled and waved, "merry christmas!" He responed with a smile and a big "merry christmas" in return. it meant a lot to us. and we truly loved that skinny little tree. it was beautiful.

Merry Christmas ladies!


how firm a foundation.

paper tissue

"for such things as honour and love and faith are not only
nobler than food and drink, but indeed I think
that we desire them more and suffer more for their absence."
robert louis stevenson, R.L.S pg. 148

today was a day of searching, understanding and thirsting. i thought a great deal about life. pondered the nature of human beings. prayed to God. and sat in mixed emotions, as i contemplated over the world in general. buffalo springfields 'for what it's worth' played again and again through my head. his words fed upon my emotions, "i think it's time we stop, hey, whats that sound. everybody look whats going down". i wish i could understand the world, maybe then i could make more of a difference. and as i searched for an answer, robert louis stevenson's words seemed highlighted in my head's creased pages of information, and i realized....we all stive for honour. we live for love. and we hope and we pray for faith. because we're human. at some point or another, we will all experience the absence of one or another. and with that absence experience, we realize that we never again want to loose it.

as i helped clean up the kitchen after dinner, i noticed myself humming and singing the hymn, how firm a foundation. and one verse, imparticular, caught my attention. (vs 3)

"fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
for I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand"

at times, i have forgotten. yes, i am ashamed and embarrassed to admit it. but there have been moments when i've neglected to recognize or accept the hand of the Lord in my life. you see, i'm cursed with this stubborness and mind blockade of feeling obligated to do everything on my own. maybe it's my obsessive compulsiveness or maybe it's because i just naturally feel i can handle life without any help...whatever it is, i get going and going and going. and i forget. i forget until i'm so overwhelmed that all i can do is collapse onto my bed and wish someone would carry me away. but the thing is...the Lord is already there. and He continually waits patiently again and again, for me to take His hand and He will cause me to stand. i'm not going to be scared, as long as He is with me.
today was the beautiful.

one of my favorite scriptures--romans 8: 37-39


Saturday, December 5, 2009

creating the alive.

paper tissue

you dream of the accidents.
you pray for them.
you hope for the accidents.
in other words, the unanticipated moves.
because what that means is that the piece that you're creating is alive,
it's like a child full of surprises.
if it's not suddenly making its own demands and is only lying there inert,
your best bet is to walk away from it and start something else.
-chaim potok

i guess it's true. we create our happiness.
we find what we live for. and choose what we let go.
we invent our most wild ideas.
we dream our own, individual, dreams.
so, start something new love.
you can be that person today, don't worry about waiting
for tomorrow.


Thursday, December 3, 2009

bleach at 2 a.m.

paper tissue

the last three days have been of the most unique sorts.
first, you should know. i am now moving out of my townhome.
and back to my charming hometown of alpine.
it was a sudden decision...but i feel good about it.
oh, and did i mention? i have to be out by tomorrow.
hence, scrubbing my bathtub at 2:15 a.m.
and now feeling something resembling a 'high' from the bleach chemicals
filling the bedroom as i write to you this night/morning, whatever.
oh, and yes, happy december. isn't this month one of the finest?
i truly love it.
it makes me want to wear warm sweaters and my favorite red coat
that i purchased at a thrift store for $4.
and take a trip to the ice skating rink at the gallivan center.
life is crazy. it is busy. it's a little bit overwhelming.
i almost feel like i shouldn't pause to breath.
but i will.

life is good.