Monday, December 7, 2009

how firm a foundation.

paper tissue

"for such things as honour and love and faith are not only
nobler than food and drink, but indeed I think
that we desire them more and suffer more for their absence."
robert louis stevenson, R.L.S pg. 148

today was a day of searching, understanding and thirsting. i thought a great deal about life. pondered the nature of human beings. prayed to God. and sat in mixed emotions, as i contemplated over the world in general. buffalo springfields 'for what it's worth' played again and again through my head. his words fed upon my emotions, "i think it's time we stop, hey, whats that sound. everybody look whats going down". i wish i could understand the world, maybe then i could make more of a difference. and as i searched for an answer, robert louis stevenson's words seemed highlighted in my head's creased pages of information, and i realized....we all stive for honour. we live for love. and we hope and we pray for faith. because we're human. at some point or another, we will all experience the absence of one or another. and with that absence experience, we realize that we never again want to loose it.

as i helped clean up the kitchen after dinner, i noticed myself humming and singing the hymn, how firm a foundation. and one verse, imparticular, caught my attention. (vs 3)

"fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
for I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand"

at times, i have forgotten. yes, i am ashamed and embarrassed to admit it. but there have been moments when i've neglected to recognize or accept the hand of the Lord in my life. you see, i'm cursed with this stubborness and mind blockade of feeling obligated to do everything on my own. maybe it's my obsessive compulsiveness or maybe it's because i just naturally feel i can handle life without any help...whatever it is, i get going and going and going. and i forget. i forget until i'm so overwhelmed that all i can do is collapse onto my bed and wish someone would carry me away. but the thing is...the Lord is already there. and He continually waits patiently again and again, for me to take His hand and He will cause me to stand. i'm not going to be scared, as long as He is with me.
today was the beautiful.

one of my favorite scriptures--romans 8: 37-39


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