Sunday, July 11, 2010

the nestle cookie dough day.

sitting. just eating. innocently...blissfully enjoying a tub of nestle chocolate chip cookie dough. yes, i can see that the packaging clearly reads "do not consume raw dough"...call me rebellious, call me stupid. go ahead, but here goes another guilty scoop.

maybe it's the uncooked egg and the small chance that i may get salmonella poisoning...or perhaps it is that i've been reading a little too much khalil gibran, but i'm feeling a surge of romantic in me. sort of like juliet as she called out in hopeless, sincere desperation for her romeo...feeling kind of 'elvis presley-ish' as i quietly hum can't help falling in love with you. a bit jane austen like, dreaming up a little love story that will change the way the world sees modern love. up next, i'm going to pop in the episode of friends where chandler proposes to monica and maybe cry, like i usually do.

scoop. mmm.

and all this hopeless romantic cookie dough is making me think. think about love. about relationships. about life. about human nature. about stress. about fear. about understanding. about why my stomach sometimes hurts. really hurts.

asking myself questions that don't have any real answers. like...

what if thoughts could be heard?

maybe it's the people pleaser that i am, always will be and can't escape from but that thought constantly toys with me.

what if i knew the uncut, uncensored, untainted thoughts that channel from your head to your heart, from your heart to your head...from the outside world into your own.
so many many questions would be answered. so many insecurities could be brushed aside or...reaffirmed. so many moments of harsh, bitter, painstaking truth would be over and done with.

and on the other hand, there would be moments of pure, sacred love....so pure that the human race would have no choice but to grow and learn from it. love so direct, that it would have no reason to fear the worlds critical eye. almost as if the heart itself would be speaking directly.

scoop.

perhaps then i may be able to say what i want to say, and express what my shy heart wishes you knew.

what about forever?

quite a thought, forever. it's a strange phenomenon, trying to comprehend something never ever ending. to some it's a foreign...fantastical idea. maybe even deemed as childish. but not me. i believe in it. i live for it.

perhaps, god is a romantic. i believe he is.

i know that he provides us with the chance here on earth to be bound forever to that other, beautiful soul.

forever. makes me weak at the knees. call me a girl, but if that isn't romantic...i don't know what is. one day i'll feel the power of someone being mine. forever-ever-happy-ending-never-ever-ending-mine. mmgh. cute isn't it?

and what about people? the power we have as people.

like that woman i pass on my way home every day. the one that holds the little Caesars sign out on state street. and not only does she hold that sign with zeal, but she dances. No really, she dances...for hours and hours..and hours. she usually performs a series of leg kicks, small bounces and twists of the sign. how much cooler is that than someone just standing there holding up a plastic advertisement that says "five dollar hot and ready pizza"? that is the power i'm talking about. it is the ability to do something you know you don't have to do.

kind of like my cute little nordstrom friend that stopped by work to visit me today. it's like an unsaid appreciation...it may not seem to mean much but somehow holds a power. it's the power of being human, of interaction and part of the grand experience of living in this world.

i feel this power everyday. it leaves me longing, even craving, to find a relationship with everyone i interact with. big or small, i can't let them pass without knowing. otherwise who knows what i'm letting pass me by. whether it's a small chat with the gal giving me my diet coke or enjoying the humor of the olive garden staff...

maybe it's these interactions- the ones that can so easily be passed by- that mean the most. yeah? cheers to nestle cookie dough.

scoop.

really, it's the hope of what the future will bring and the excitement of tomorrow. my heart goes crazy when i look up from your arms to see you gazing off into the distance. i'm filled with passion for your future. for what i know you will accomplish, for the potential that the world will never be able to deny you. i watch your eyes stare off into the unknown, and i can only sincerely pray, that i can brave that unknown too. you darling make me think these wild, beautiful, crazy things.

and i love it.

scoop.

2 comments:

  1. Your thoughts are beautiful! Life is full of romance and happily ever afters!

    ReplyDelete

from keen.