Thursday, August 26, 2010

hakuna matata, right?

life lesson #702, sometimes it just isn't about the worry.

i know, i know.
this coming from the girl that was born worrying about everyone and their dog. and their neighbors uncle.

but, for real.

its just like he said
, it is about everything up to this point. every breath, every effort to make it good and right.

and every beautiful possibility the future holds.

why fall apart now?

why allow yourself to fall when you've made it so high? what good will that do?

don't get me wrong,
there is a time and a place to let those worries settle. but that time and that place is not now.

now, is the time to turn up the volume to "teenage dream" by katy perry and dance the worry away.

it's all good, because my heart stops, when you look at me. just one touch, now baby i believe...this is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back...(thanks katy).

Saturday, August 14, 2010

this kitchen.

dear story-of-my-life,

i have a new addition for you. exciting, i know. see this kitchen?

mmmmmgh.

cut and paste this into the "my future" tab of your detailed story. i can see it, very clearly. waking up in the morning, fixing a little breakfast. pouring a bowl of cereal. whipping up some omelets. the kids want blueberry bagels with strawberry cream cheese.

but wait. here is the best part...an 8:12 morning kiss from him.

one trip to the grocery store. two bathrooms scrubbed. three children out the door. and a trip to the elementary school to drop of forgotten homework assignments...

lunch already. not enough time in the day.

i'll stand by that stove and reheat the left-overs from the night before. lasagna. chicken and broccoli...salmon. i'm not really sure.

but wait. here is the best part. an afternoon phone call from him. a simple 1:17 i love you that means more than he'll ever know.

four loads of laundry. five thousand toys shoved under the sofa. finally finding a wedding gift for the awkward neighbors. and one hour of 3rd grade multiplication homework later.

dinner time. seriously, not enough time in the day.

the children complain that they're ravenously hungry and could eat the goldfish. please don't eat the goldfish, i tell them. a matter of minutes and it already looks as if i never cleaned that day. and that wad of gum in the three year-old's hair that i simply can't even think about right now.

but look how lovely that kitchen is.

baby crying in the background. sauce boiling on the stove (i'm planning on being a superb cook, in case you haven't caught on. perhaps, i should start working towards that. hm...)

but wait. here is the best part. he walks in from work, the kids grab at his ankles and pull at his pinstriped suit coat. he softly wraps his arms around me...a 6:32 kiss from him.

mmmgh.

see, we need this kitchen.

love,

keen.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

chocolate-covered-macadamia-goodness.

today was real. 100%.

and surprisingly. fantastic. it had me fooled at the start, but then left me on the side of the road with nothing but smiles.

hard work and good laughs find me here, sitting on this barstool...feeling sleepy, but the smiles won't cease with the night.

five chocolate macadamia nut clusters (yes, i do believe in love universe...complete with delightful chocolate, caramel, and salt...aka- heaven), an icy cold diet coke and one spectacularly bleached-clean kitchen later and i'm about ready to call it a day. satisfied and content. very content.

with you on the mind and so much excitement for the possibilities of tomorrow. whatever it may be, bring it on. cause' nothing will taint today.

lets just take over the world, shall we?

p.s. i am heading up the mountains this weekend for a little camping trip. i couldn't be more excited. and i hope to be fishing...while sitting on a giant rock (except i think the picture above is the ocean and i will be on a lake...but still, here i go...)

Monday, August 2, 2010

the braver people.

and she was called brave...

brave. what does that mean? strong. fearless. unstoppable. steadfast. to have faith. to hold firm to beliefs. i don't really know, you tell me. i guess the definition just depends on who you're talking to. or who the author of the story is.

somedays, i feel like maybe i am brave. i'd like to be. but then there are mornings when i wake fearing that i lack the necessary components. which may very well be true.

but take a second to stop and look around. take a focused view at this crazy-little-mixed-up world, because bravery can be found all around.

they are the braver people.

no, i don't understand it. i can't pretend like i do. but i cling to the concept nonetheless. and i believe there is the braver person in every one of us.

you see, i can not judge you, because i do not know. i can not say, because the words won't come. i have no advice, because pretending to understand is hollow.

this being said, i can only watch. and hope that in some small way, he'll know.

for he is braver than i am.

perhaps it is the intrigue of his words. or the mystery behind that sculpted shoulder.

he tells me, this world is a place of sadness. why? i ask.

...because as human beings we can see the world in many forms. we are blessed with the ability to see how it could be. it's because of this insight, that we can grown. we are also blessed to see how the world is in reality. this leaves us facing a very visible gap. this is the space between what life could be and what it is. knowing of this gaps existence leaves us quivering in a darker place. it leaves us not knowing where to begin.

this, i had no rebuttal against. this, left me feeling inadequate. a little frightened. a bit amazed. and slightly angry. he was right, i guess...

it is true. but i didn't like that. my mind went wild.

what about the moments of happiness? yes, happiness. what about the times of pure, crazy, insane love? those days when you dance, just because. those minutes when you shiver with delight. those seconds when you close your eyes just to savor the bliss...

because really, god can be found in everything.

words. please. i knew there were words. but i also knew that i would never truly understand his story.

no words came. sigh.

the boy knew the world in a way i did not. and they called him brave.