Friday, October 29, 2010

peace-out.

i'm peacing out this weekend.
for a much needed getaway.

to a land where it's halloween everyday...
and crazy is normal.
just what i need right now.

happy hauntings everyone.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Monday, October 25, 2010

er-bear and austy-baby.

one of my very best friends got engaged this last week...
this is
erin & austin
one long distance relationship, a two year mission
and about a million heart cookie nights later...
and fairy tales do come true.
erin is the first of the original gang to make it this far.
and yes, that includes you jess.
...aubry's serving a mission, so i guess we'll cut her some slack.

erin, i'm so proud of you.
i love you a million heart cookies.
congrats.
i raise my glass to you both.

Friday, October 22, 2010

the pace.

the pace of life is quick.
so very, very quick.
almost frightening, how it speeds on by.
it leaves me short of breath.
(or maybe it's this cold i can feel coming on. airborne is currently my best-est friend)
but literally. it's like getting the wind knocked out of you.
i almost forget to breath at times.
each moment is something to cling to.
i love my life. every-single-tiny inch of it.
...a pace that i can't even keep up with.
i love that it's filled to the brim
with liquids of messing-up...of learning, growing and progression.
that free time is a rarity,
and that i honestly run.
actually run from place to place to keep up with it.
i wouldn't wish for it to be any other way.
life is glamorous, like the rockstar shoes i bought the other day.
and yet, very simple. like perfectly worn oak floors.
life is a mystery. like those nancy drew novels i devoured when i was nine.
and surprisingly, predictable...
hm, just like those nancy drew novels i read when i was nine.
life is needy. like me sometimes.
and oh-so-very precious. like the scene i witnessed today while running.
life is fragile. like most good things are.
and life is one big, solid rock. you simply have to discover what stabilizes you.
life is truly beatiful. in all its sincerity and oddness.
it's absolutely stunning.

Friday, October 15, 2010

she's the first to toast. and the last to say goodnight.

yes, the rumors are true.

i am now, officially and undeniably, twenty-two years of age.

mmmh. wow.

no, that 'mmmh' is not necessarily one of enjoyment. it's more of a hesitant 'mmmh' with a hint of fear and a prolonged 'h' of excitment.

but good, it is. thanks yoda.

for many of you, you're saying "oh, you're just a baby." and then there are those of you...yeah you guys over in the corner that are thinking, "wow. getting up there aren't we?" nudge. nudge. wink.

so whatever. shake a rattle in my face. squeeze my cheeks. or call me old-timer, but here i am...a bundle of twenty-two years of randomness.

i could easily sit and type out all the lessons i've learned over the past year...i could go on and on regarding lessons of living life, making mistakes, learning to love, and growing up.

but i'm not going to.

nah, i'm not in the mood to linger in the past. hence, i am going to channel all my energy into the future.

here we go.

i have a list. yes indeed. a list of the lovely things i am going to do, accomplish, experience and see in my twenty-second year.

e-hem. ready?


one.


i am going to seattle. don't stop me, because you can't.

it comes so easily for me...i will stroll downtown, take my time browsing through art galleries and record shops. sit on the end of a pier and breath in the ocean salt.

perhaps alone. preferably with a warm arm around me, pulling me in tightly at the waist.

hopefully it will be chilly. i'll pull my button-up coat tighter and let the cold burn my eyes. they'll water. maybe because of the wind. perhaps from tears. we'll never know.

i'll play a little jimmy durante, 'make someone happy' in the background...

and simply live. because that is what living is.

two.

apologize only when an apology is in order or when an "i am sorry" is needed. it's a nasty habit of mine. and it's stopping now. i'm not weak.

i am often inclined to feel that things are my fault even when they're not. it's dumb. i know.

this is one of those 'growing up' chronicle things...one of those harsh truths that i learn with time and age. the age of twenty-two.

three.

branch out with my cold cereals.
ah, it's painful just saying it.

this is truly easier said than done. see, it's the raisin bran crunch and frosted mini wheats that have me whipped. every week...same thing, same routine. it's comfortable. i know i like them. i know i love them. so why not?

but here's the problem sparky
: i love 'comfortable'. so much in fact that i sometimes forget it's okay to try new things. i cling to what i love and what i trust.

twenty-two is going to be the year when i risk it. i'm not always going to play it safe. take a leap. pick up an off-brand, sugary cereal that you haven't tried before, and fly...

add a cup of skim milk and enjoy.

four.

own what's happening around me. not because i have to. not because it's required. because obviously, it's not. i could let moments pass me by...along with people and opportunities. never knowing what i am missing.

i will do this, because i want to. because i can. because i honestly can't think of a reason why i wouldn't...

because twenty-two is only the beginning of everything else...

five.

express my inconsistencies.


if there is one thing i've learned for certain during my twenty-first year, it is that i change my mind a lot. i like crazy things, and at times i may even be drawn to polar opposites.

let's just say, i'm consistent in my inconsistencies...

odd i know, because i tend to cling to comfort.

there are days when i just want to be clean cut, white shirt, sleek blazer, good pair of heels. safe, comfortable, and chic. then there are those mornings when i throw on a nirvana shirt, load on layers of necklaces, some random bracelets....throw on that same blazer from the day before, some equestrian boots, throw my hair in a messy bun and slip on my san deigo padres hat and call it good.

i'm eclectic in my design tastes, am drawn to wacky artwork and clean lines. i'm romantic on tuesdays, well-behaved on wednesdays, free-spirited on fridays and clingy on sundays...i'm consistently inconsistent.

and i've decided to embrace it.

why not?

six.


love without hesitation.

love 100%.

this seems simple, i know. so instead of leaving you completely in the dark. let me briefly explain.

this year has taught me a lot about love. about solid, mixed up, complicated...oh-so-heavenly love.

love, in my experience, has had it's expected delays.

you know, the kind where the orange marquee clearly warns you, 'center street will be closed from 1-5 a.m october 16th..."

...'love will kick your trash on the corner of 'you thought you could make it work' & 'nice try stupid'. so please...proceed with caution.'

and then, of course, it's had it's unexpected detours as well. the ones that throw you off in your innocent course just doing the everyday of the every-single-day.

and these are not always bad.

in fact, sometimes it's the detour roads that end up holding that exact something that you were longing for...

sometimes, it's the unexpected turns that bring you pure love and leave you reaching for the stars, believing in things like you never believed before.

taking that jump, just because nothing is holding you back. and that's where the 100% comes in.

seven.


like the beatles say, "let it be."

it's those days. the mother of all days. when i wake up looking about as attractive as the bird lady off of home alone 2, with my breath smelling...well, probably a lot like the pigeon-poop covered bird lady off of home alone 2, with about as much desire to be productive as...well, the bird lady sitting on the park bench throwing crumbs in home alone 2....

one of those days when i look in the mirror and think, "time for a diet, girly." and in actuality...i hate diets and won't ever do it anyways...

so why do i?

let me make you a promise...to the future "mother of all days" of my twenty-second years...i am going to "let it be". because those days will come and those days will pass.

and why waste that kind of time?


this is my twenty-second year. and it's going to rock the world. twice.

this is my list.

my list for a fresh, brand-spankin'-new opportunity. and it feels good.

this twenty-second year...i will be the first to give a toast, and the last to say goodnight.

love ya,

keen.


Saturday, October 9, 2010


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

i will stand here for humanity.

i'm a creature of the times. as are the majority of my generation.

things aren't like they used to be. in fact, i remember the days when i would sit down every day after school and watch a 1/2 hour episode of full house. such a simple joy. very 'leave it to beaver'. now my idea of watching tv is a 20 minute episode of "modern family" on hulu once a week. sure that was the 90's...

but even just 6-7 years ago...

we reminisce to the times when one e-mail account was plenty. when cell phones were still 'an option'. when texting was merely a way to send a generic message like "on my way" or "meet me in ten"...before it was an actual genre of communication.

these were the days when we weren't required to have the internet everywhere we went. and when people did not have to be able to contact us at every waking hour...when 'socializing' took more than a click of the 'like' button and hours were spent doing things other than facebook stalking.

tweet tweet.

and yet, here i am...

i am an avid participant in the blogging community. i have an active facebook account to my name. am found guilty of tweeting. carry a cell phone that may as well be surgically stapled as an appendage to my body. have so many e-mail accounts, for so many different purposes that i have had to link their mailboxes into one...thank goodness for that function...

and not only do i use all these things personally, but it's also my job. i'm in marketing & pr. it's what we do. it is the new, personal, instantaneous relationships that we create through social media with our audiences that bring us success. it's not about throwing flashy ads in our audience's faces anymore. nope, it's about the proactive world of social networking.

summed up: i am a twenty-two-year-old creature of the times. and i'm okay with that.

to be honest, i'm more than okay with it. i love it. sure, it has it's ups and downs, and i think all and all, most of us can step back and see the ridiculousness of the situation. but this is evolution. so eat it up and enjoy.

it's time to keep up. and here is why:

this is a time of unlimited power to have a voice and position of your own. so use it.

one of my all-time, top-ranking, hands-down most influential pieces of literature in my life is 'self-reliance' by ralph waldo emerson. i remember the first time i read it. american studies, mr. birrell and mrs. wolsey...sophomore year of high school. reading this essay was a life changing experience for me.

the title describes it's objective perfectly. in this essay, emerson is expressing his opinions and beliefs on human reliance with one's self. faith in your own ideas. reaching your own potential. and living by trusting yourself and not conforming to the will of society.

in emerson's words, "it is easy in the world, to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own, but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness, the independence of solitude."

for those of you unfamiliar with emerson. his views on conformity and individuality are more extreme than most people can, realistically, comply with. we live in a world where it is rare to find someone that has remained untainted by society in some way or another. whether it's the brand names on your clothing or the forced smile you give when in a situation you're not completely comfortable with or the fact that, you too, have a facebook account...

i dare say, it is impossible to never conform.

however, emerson's defined principles of remaining true to oneself and as he would say, "believing in one's own thought" are spoken of so poetically, honestly, and powerfully in this essay. and i believe they still apply.

a man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light that flashes across his mind from within, more than the luster of the firmament of bards and sages. yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his.

i've beeen thinking about this a lot lately. especially in this world of instantaneous communication, virtually unlimited access to any portal of world-wide networking, and such free, uninhibited speech. it leads me to contemplate over the power that is in each and every individual. an endless capacity for knowledge...of any kind. the ability to say what they want. to express their beliefs across the globe with the click of a button.

this power is in you. and this power is in me. picture a time when you've had a sudden flash of an idea...or a thought....that was yours and only yours to claim. did you claim it? or did you dismiss it?

according to emerson, that is the line separating the great from the ordinary.

what makes a great man great? could it really be so defined?

emerson talks about knowing and understanding a very basic principle: that i am human and so are you. hence, i understand you more than i realize. this is a whimsical concept to me. one of those, "emerson, you just rocked my world" kind of concepts. in his words, "the inquiry leads us to that source, at once the essence of genius, of virtue, and of life, which we call spontaneity or instinct."

i often think back to this in my life experiences. when i watch an event unravel or am presented with a situation involving some sort of human decision, action or involvement. if you look inward...clearly and honestly- as uncomfortable as that kind of honestly with oneself may be, as the situation may not always be pleasant- you will sense that instinct. because you, you are human too. truly, this is genius.

is it not? correct me if i am wrong.

he continues on, explaining his reasoning behind this. "in that deep force, the last fact behind which analysis cannot go, all things find their common origin. for the sense of being which in calm hours rises, we know not how, in the soul, is not diverse from things, from space, from light, from time, from man, but one with them, and proceeds obviously from the same source whence their life and being also proceed. we first share the life by which things exist, and afterwards see them as appearances in nature, and forget that we have shared their cause. here is the fountain of action and of thought."

once again, it's that understanding, that "last fact behind which analysis cannot go"
that allows us to trust our hearts, our minds and in ourselves. we all share this life. we were all born. and are growing daily...we share that common origin. we have all shared a broad, yet-oh-so-specific cause.

in my social media experience, one of the main objectives behind the madness is to establish, maintain and nourish relationships. whether for personal or professional reasons, this is a very common goal. we want to relate. we want understanding. not necessarily by agreement, but simply by understanding. as i work with these tools on a daily basis, it is astounding to me to watch how such an 'impersonal' environment of creating and maintaining relationship has become so personal. and it has made it just that much more important to remain true to yourself...because a "personal world" in an impersonal setting is dangerous to the soul.

in his essay he expressed his hopes and desires that the world and it's people would move past the phases of conformity...hmmm, sorry emerson. we shot that idea down.

and though he'd probably roll over in his grave if he could see what this crazy-little-beautiful world has become, i know that the principles of self-reliance can still be applied. they can be planted, nourished, and hopefully sprout the great minds that trust in themselves enough to make a difference.

i was once reading a speech by ronald reagan, from a broadcast in 1964. i didn't have to read much to feel the power behind this man, before my heart started racing and my mind took off...in fact, it was the very first words that came out of his mouth....

"i am going to talk of controversial things. i make no apology for this."

that, i admire. that right there is unique. part of what defines the great from the ordinary.

now, i'm not saying (and though i can't speak for emerson, i don't believe he is either)...that we have to be the next world leader or einstein to be defined as great and that's what i love about this.

i know i will never be the next winston churchill or gandhi (though they are both definitely "like" worthy on facebook--just some social media humor there for you) chances are, you won't either. i have no plans to be a world leader or a world-renowned philosopher...or the scientist that solidifies the string theory. though these are great, this isn't what i'm refering to.

to be defined as great is to be true to oneself.

and when you are true to yourself. you are true to god and others around you. your work may not effect the millions, it may be the smaller numbers of a 5th grade classroom or the seven, possibly eight kids in your sunday school class...or maybe it's just the one, select person who is listening to you from the twelfth row back of the auditorium...no matter the numbers, it is the work of a great, unique, true human being.

i know that i can look back at my twenty-two years and recall many individual experiences and select people that have struck me as unique and great. and those impressions have stayed with me and continue to direct me in many ways.

as much as i love it, in this world...in my world and your world of instant satisfaction and results...of google search bars and rss feeds. its easy to get caught up in the unmanageable pace. caught up in the "you say this because this is what they're expecting you to say"...and basing large decisions soley on appearances...

guilty.

we just have to be careful. because we are the thinkers that are going to keep this place progressing onward. and if we're not, someone else is going to do it. so we choose now, if we will be who 'they' want us to be...or if we will be true to ourselves. and be unique. and be great.

in the words of emerson, "i will stand here for humanity, and though i would make it kind, i would make it true." i could not, could not agree more. mmmgh. that gets me everytime.

it's quite the thought.

shall we?

i, kristen, will stand here for humanity. and though i would make it kind, i would make it true.



now, you can follow my blog by clicking here.
see me on facebook here.
check out my tweets by visiting here.
follow my tumblr here.
e-mail me at kristenwar....

just joshing.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

a love letter.


dear fall,

this morning, you hit me.

maybe it was the graceful, snow-tipped mountain-esque scene i ran along side of. or perhaps the firey colored leaves blowing across 900 e. on my way to work.

whatever it was, it was perfect.

it was discovered.

like the re-read chapter of the story that finally makes sense. or the part of the movie that you had to see for a second time for it to click. that feeling of knowing. of understanding. a feeling of satisfaction that comes. not with a definitive answer, but with simply knowing that the pages are understood.

fall, you are magical. fall, i've been waiting for you.

thank you for coming.

love,


keen

Sunday, October 3, 2010

carry on.

every day, i learn more about myself.
what i'm doing. where i am headed...what i want most.
what i am willing to do to obtain these goals
...exactly what can and can not stop me.
what makes me cry.
and what scares me most...
what insecurities sneak up on me in the dark.
what brings me happiness.
and sends me to my knees with gratitude.
what hidden scars come back to haunt me.
what future means in my eyes.
patience. understanding. compromise. self-reliance.
these are things that i am learning...
every day.
these things that make me, me.

in short...hi, my name is kris.

i'm the girl that lives on the third floor.
#322
to be exact. that's right...
the one with the odd, disgusting stain where the
welcome mat should be...but isn't.
i'm obsessive compulsive in my own, unique ways.
i'm punctual, almost to a ridiculous extent.
and yes, i get annoyed with others who are not.
i'm the girl that get's her attitude and confidence from her mom.
and her logic and observing demeanor from her dad...
family is my rock. i believe in family, with all the passion i can muster.
i may not be the toughest...
but i will fight to the end for the people i love. no questions asked.
i have a history. i have a past. who doesn't?
i'll accept you for who you are. as long as you're straight with me.
i like to know. i'm curious i guess.
i'm the girl that loves chocolate chip cookies.
i'm baggy sweatshirts, oversized jackets and a good pair of boots.
i'm heals and nice-fitting jeans.
the one that believes full-heartedly in love.
and after many tedious life lessons, is willing to take that risk.
the one that isn't perfect...or even close.
and is scared of messing up.
the one who obsessively wants to make everyone happy.
and that needs to move, just for the sake of moving.
the girl who loves a little 'edge', clean-crisp sheets
and sparkly-fresh-cleaned kitchens...
the girl that becomes absolutely giddy around the holidays.
who loves giving kisses.
and could stare out at the ocean for hours on end.
eh hem.

i am the girl that will one day not be a girl anymore.

but will one day grow up...
and continue to learn. everyday. more and more.
for now, i'll look foward to the lessons of tomorrow.