Monday, January 24, 2011

i'm half scared.

i ran this weekend.

thirteen miles through st. george, utah (one of my favorite places on earth).

yes. i lived to tell the tale.

in fact, i did more than just survived....i conquered. i overcame personal fears. destroyed self-doubts. and completely surprised myself (which is a kick-a feeling that cannot, simply cannot be beat.)

running through the desert with 4000+ other racers was one of the greatest, most insane highs i have ever experienced. at one point i almost cried with with happiness. almost. but i didn't.

the rush of pushing yourself further than you've ever gone before.

the adrenaline pumping through your body, dominating your entire world. just thinking back on it almost gives me the chills.

if you want to learn about will-power. i recommend running.

you will gain such deep insight into yourself and the kind of person you are. plus, experience the greatest natural high of your life.

there is nothing that beats running that final stretch.

the stretch with the "finish" banner at the end. signs being waved in the air. onlookers cheering and yelling. pour me a shot of that euphoric madness on a daily basis and i'll be your best friend for life.

surreal? yes.

it's a feeling of unity within oneself. a perfect harmony. an agreement of sorts. an agreement between your head, your heart and your legs, all working as one.

one hour and fifty-five minutes.


that's a lot of time to think. and what really is there to do but keep your legs moving and the mind rolling. it's ideal time to let your subconscious absorb emotion.

however. this much set-aside time for raw, uninhibited thought can be dangerous. especially if you are me. miss over-analytical-obsessive-compulsive-observing-perfectionist.

but whatever.

danger, what's danger?

ha. i laugh in the face of danger. (thanks simba. i love that line.)

just like i faced those thirteen miles. i can face my other fears. i can conquer the 'unknown' of my future. and dominate what may seem impossible.

i don't have to linger in the past. in fact, i can push myself full force into the future.

the past will in no way determine tomorrow.

they say time repeats itself. but not on my watch. (get it? 'my watch'. like a wrist watch? time. pun's are my new favorite thing in case you didn't know.)

it doesn't have to hurt. or fail. and good things can actually last.

sometimes they don't drive away. sometimes they stay because they don't want to lose you.

just like a finish line. you keep on going. you don't stop, even though at times your knee hurts like h** and a deep tissue massage sounds like a dream. you keep on the keepin' on. and eventually you'll cross that ending mark.

your eyes will watch as your foot makes it over that line. and then you will look up, knowing that you did it. you won the race against yourself. against the limitations that left you concerned and cautious.

victory. the big-w.

you take home the medal.

you've got to love the race. that's what this life is all about.


p.s. i stole the title of this post from a recent episode of modern family. phil is challenging claire to a race. and she makes a comment about how she ran a half marathon and he didn't stand a chance. his response, "oooo, i'm half scared." classic.

3 comments:

  1. so inspirational. life is so crazy. it never seems like it is going to work out but then there are those few moments of relief when it actually does.

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  2. Aubry, thanks for single-handedly supplying this blog with all of it's comments. You never disappoint!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh what are friends for if not for reading your blog and commenting on every entry.

    ReplyDelete

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