today, i'm sitting here admiring my freshly cleaned and oh-so-sparkling-bleachy smelling kitchen.
and am wondering how people can sit through an entire episode of the bachelor.
seriously girls, i tried. i really did, but the only opinions i am left with are that brad probably should have pushed michelle and her sorry-a attitude off the ledge of that waterfall, without the propelling gear and fifty pounds of jergens tanning lotion strapped to her back, so that if she does manage to survive the fall (and i pray that she does) she could at least keep up the one thing she had going for her (fake-orange-ish skin).
oh yeah, and brad should probably stop being such a pansy, quit while he is ahead, and go back to his job as a texan bartender...if texas will have him back (which is questionable).
okay so hold up. no i really am not a cynical-reality-tv-watching-critic-kind-of-girl. but i do have a legitimate problem with the bachelor...and here it is: quite frankly, it portrays girls as high maintenance, low IQ-ed, desperately insecure and pathetic morons that can be found at buy one get one free at the macy's cosmetic counter nearest you. they run around being psycho, slutty, and irrational. and in all honestly, it doesn't give guys a great name either. so why? someone explain. tell me i am wrong.
and sure, you can argue that it has a catchy entertainment value. but i'm not buying it.
sorry brad...i'm guessing that i'm not taking home the rose tonight.
this little tyrant probably isn't going to help my submissions to be the next season's bachelorette. hmmm. oh well.
this week i've thought a lot about the past.
and no matter how hard i tried to get it out of my mind, i could not stop thinking about jacob f.'s metallic winter coat.
seriously though. this coat made its debut in probably the 4th or 5th grade, and you better believe it was the talk of every girl from miss gilford's to mr. lowe's classroom. it was 'sexy'. and yes, i'm pretty sure that word was used.
...which was fairly taboo at the time.
it was one of those puffy insulated ski jackets that were just coming back into style, and it was that 'oh-so-bold-and-daring' metallic silver that all the girls goo-ed and gaw-ed over. it could be seen from just about anywhere. across the basketball courts, through the tetherball areas, all the way back to the old oak tree where the 6th graders would go and 'make out' (who even knows what that actually meant.)
that metallic darling was a looker.
and so was the boy in it (at least i thought so. once again, if you've forgotten who jacob f. is...he was my long-standing crush from the 1st-6th grade. it was so meant to be.)
okay, so maybe you're now wondering why i couldn't stop thinking about this coat. or perhaps you've forgotten by now but don't worry, i will explain.
see, this coat has become a symbol of sorts. a symbol of what the past is and what it means to me. it is a symbol of something so insignificant, that has remained a clear and reoccurring memory. it is a representation of the past that you may try to let go of...but has unknowingly become a part of you.
would i have ever guessed--out of all my childhood experiences--that i would have pinned the memory of jacob f.'s metallic coat as the one i would always remember?
but it is. because it means something to me, whether i realized it or not.
isn't it surprising, what information and images the human mind chooses to retain and to forget?
and equally as intriguing--what experiences are the ones that end up impacting us the most? the events that maybe hold no significance at the time...that perhaps we won't even realize the value of until years and years down the road?
so, is it okay to hold onto the past?
jacob f. was my first boyfriend.
he was the first experience i had with falling head over heels for a boy.
and this 'head-over-heals' infatuation lasted for all my years of elementary school.
that's just how i am. and for some reason, that metallic winter coat shines as a nostalgic beacon of lessons learned and experiences yet to be had.
i didn't know anything back then. for all i knew, my life was going to flow just perfectly. a.k.a. me getting married to jonathan taylor thomas (a-hunk-a-hunk-of-burning-luuuuv), having babies, being a mom and a seaworld dolphin trainer/modern day spice-girl rockstar.
hm. yep. that's basically my life.
seeing that valentine's day is almost here and i'm sitting here watching steel magnolias (one of my all-time favorite movies)....maybe i should have taken my dolphin training career more seriously.
actually, some of my most influential life lesson's have been pulled from this cinemark masterpiece... "repeat after me, 'there's no such thing as natural beauty"...remember that, or we're all out of a job."
as for the rest of my thoughts...
i like this picture of the giraffe at the window. and i want to formally apologize for forcing jessica to let me color her hair and change her make-up. i love you jess.
pepsi max is very decent (thanks aubs). and seriously...i am loving this slightly-warmer weather. i pray for summer everyday. oh, and i'm nervous. my new life begins monday. it could turn out to be anything. but i fully intend to make the very most of it.
i guess it's just not possible to fully let go of the past. the past is yesterday. and frankly, i am still affected by things that happened twenty-four hours ago.
maybe the more appropriate thing to say is that we don't have to hold onto the past. otherwise, we may never improve.
but feelings are still there. experiences are still had. and life still goes on.
so friends, cheers to the metallic winter coat.
and jacob f.
'fool enough to almost be it. cool enough to not quite see it. doomed. pick your pockets full of sorrow and run away with me tomorrow, june.' -the smashing pumpkins, mayonaise
p.s. the picture above is from a wall in my bedroom. likey?
p.s.s. want to see a genius piece of acting from the movie? click here (pretty sure she won awards for this)