Thursday, February 3, 2011

observations on life and such. by kris.

i don't care for that song. you know, that acoustic-ish-wanna-be-easy-lovin-we're-high-as-a-kite tune. the one that's on the radio once every twenty minutes. the rhythm of love by the plain white t's. yeah, its got no dice in my game.

i mean, i'll give it to them--hey there delilah did tug on my heart strings there for a five years ago. but just as quickly as it came, it faded...faded like a bad sunset (stole that from a rob lowe movie line. yes, i know. i know. i'm cool).

and personally, i don't see the rhythm of love doing anything more or anything less. i hear that song and i think 'lame'. yes, that is my exact choice of words. lame.

lame, being that kind of 'catchy tune' that will end up playing as partially worthless background music at some less-than-mediocre suburban water park in meridian, idaho.

the genre of music that should be thrown into the 'poser 34-D' clearance push-up bra bin at vikki secret's.

...the million dollar production of a piece of unoriginal artwork that is only going to catch i-tune's attention for a small and insignificant time, bringing in just enough money to get people to say cheese and smile for the camera...and then will take a deep, exhausting plunge into the dark pit of the music that we've all forgotten about and will hear maybe once again in the next five years during 'love songs after dark' on the slow and easy rock station.

and even then...probably change the station.

get my point? good.

my apologies if you like that song. but really go listen to it again, you might change your mind.

l.a.m.e. it's just, blah. i hate blah. give me something worth my attention.

also, whoever is responsible for the 'new road's to healing, pornography addiction' campaign...the one who decided to post the creepy sky blue colored billboards with the silhouette of the distressed couple on every provo/orem street corner...yeah, i don't like you much.

seriously, i get so turned off by your ads that it kind of makes me hate the color blue.

good cause. ineffective campaigning. and i'm in marketing, so i feel i have grounds to give my analysis here.

oh, and does anyone know if you can overdose on chewable vitamin c tablets? because i can't stop eating them.

after spending the majority of my winter either sniffling, coughing, sleeping on the bathroom floor to cut down the amount of travel time running to the toilet, or huddled over the humidifier...i decided to invest in some vitamin c.

there i was, standing in the vitamin aisle of the market when i had a flashback to my childhood. my mom always kept a costco-size vitamin jar full of chewable orange flavored vitamin c tablets in the house.

and oh-how-i-loved them. mmmm. i'm lovin' it (thanks mickey-d's)

so, rather than purchasing the adult type that you swallow (b.o.r.i.n.g.)...i chose the chewables. and yes, they are just as scrumptious as i remember. now all i need is a good movie, a bowl of popcorn and some diet coke. the vitamin c's will serve as my mike and ikes.

was it just me or was it a really emo day today?

just me? ok.

i couldn't stop listening to 'darker' more emotionally disturbing music. like dave mathew's 'big eyed fish' (sexy-dark song, with twisted imagery), 'of a broken heart' by zwan (mellow but equally depressing), 'given to fly' by pearl jam (listen to the lyrics. it'll getcha.), 'whir' by the smashing pumpkins (this one is kind-of saddening for my own personal attachment to the song), and crying by don mclean (title speaks for itself).

does anyone disagree with me that dark imagery can be very powerful? speak up.

i love music. what would we do without it? probably just roll over and die.

what would we do on those rainy, grey days without a little 'mmmbop' by hanson?

and sometimes, you just need one of those happy-go-lucky songs, because life is hard.

yes, it's a tricky little thing that life is. stellar observation huh?

betcha' didn't know that one.

you want to know why the world turns the way it does? why people are naturally inclined to do the things that they do? why existentialism exists? why i find it fascinating? why--whether you realize it or not--listening to the beatles 'here comes the sun' will make you feel a little bit better about matter who you are?

why? human nature.

we can argue nature. we can argue nurture. i don't really care, because the fact of the matter is--people are people.

i live by those three words.

in any situation, you can take what you have learned with your past experiences with people and apply it to the present.

it's the nature of human beings.

i once had a close friend explain to me the concept of 'falling short' in this mortal world. he told me it's because as human beings, we're designed to see how things can be (what our minds would consider close-to-perfect). this design is genius, because it allows for forward progression. without this foresight, we'd literally stand in one place not knowing how to progress or improve our lives. the downside is that we can easily visualize the 'perfection'...but we will never actually achieve it, because we are imperfect creatures. this leaves us forever falling short of the story-book lovin' that our mind creates for us.

after explaining this to me--he said, 'there is a gap in between what life is and what it could be.'

sad, right?

he continued...'and we are unable to bridge that gap.'

according to him, that is why the world is the crazy, twisted place that it is. that's why you can not find complete satisfaction in this life. the unparalleled brilliance of the human mind and what it can create, verses the permanency and actuality of being human.

harsh? yup.

true? uh-huh. of, course it is.

just the other day i was reading some of the philosophies of jean-paul sartre, (a french existentialist philosopher who i am currently crushing on like no other) i'd ask him to marry me, but he died eight years before i was born. and quite frankly, wasn't the most attractive thing that ever walked this beautiful earth.

but his beautiful mind made up for that.

he says, "man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. it is up to you to give life meaning."

okay, so yes. there is a gap between the hills of utopia and the hills of reality (or california...we could ask lauren conrad about it.)

but so what? we can see that we're imperfect, and that's just who and what we are. imperfect freaks of nature who have the responsibility to look beyond that gap and make life something beautiful.

it's pretty basic, powerful stuff.

have you ever thought about how simple the functions of being human are? take for example, the act of one person speaking and another responding.

simple? basic?

that, in and of itself, is not difficult to understand.

but then take it to a deeper level. think of what is actually being said. word's mean something, right? and meaning evokes emotion, correct? and emotion then involves further action.

we can understand when others are feeling things we have felt.

like how bad it sucks to not feel wanted.

a lot of us can probably relate to that, right? maybe you've been dumped or left behind...or had your heart broken. maybe you feel you don't fit in. maybe you are lonely.

i hate all these things.

just last night i was talking to a friend about this. what he said rang-oh-so-unfortunately-true. i knew exactly how he felt. i actually had to stop myself from feeling the ache inside my gut.

he said, "i'm losing faith in it all (refering to love and relationships). all of it. it's become easier to just not care to begin with. then you won't hurt."

i could have cried for him, for me...for anyone who knows that feeling.

he said it. i responded. we formed a connection in that we share that emotion.

simple, i know. but it's something i think about.

as for tonight, i can't make any promises as to what will happen, what i am going to feel, or what the future will hold. but i will cling tight to the word's of my new friend (and infatuated crush) mr. sartre. and i will take responsibility for my life, for the things i feel, and the overall happiness i experience.

but probably not for how much diet coke i drink (or how many of these chewable vitamin c's i choose to intake).


  1. No you cannot overdose on v-c tablets. Kris, only you can talk about mmm bop, pearl jam, lauren conrad (I totally watched laguna beach last night btw, jealous?), porn-recovery, sartre, emo days (which yesterday wasn't a emo day for me... it was more of a listen to Alanis Morisette and be completely cynical about life day) and McDonalds in a single blog post. By the way I could really go for a Diet Coke right now...too bad I am at BYU.

  2. I'll take that as a compliment.

    And BYU really needs to get with the times. Come on Cougs! Keep up here!


from keen.