Thursday, March 31, 2011

a bird pooped on my car.

today a bird pooped on my window. gross. but then i found this picture using 'the google'. opposite of gross. so really, it all balanced out in the end. leaving me with one-h-of-a-good-day.

i have nothing to complain about. nope. today was one of those days when you step outside and feel the perfectly temperate air, squint upward to see the insanely blue sky and look across the street to witness the endless road-construction on seven peaks blvd that has completely closed off all but one entrance...causing a mild inconvenience.

and you realize that this day...this specific day...is why you live in utah.

utah knows how to make em'.

a perfect day. a roll down your window, throw on the shades in a white t-shirt, jam-out to neil young kind-of-day. so ideal.

and seriously...after enduring through the wretched wasatch winter...we deserve it.

that's right cougs. bring out those coveted frisbees and slip on those bermuda shorts (which somehow never go out of style in provo--tragically) because the king henry pool is open and the bbq's have been defrosted.

the warm-weather-craze is contagious. you just can't help but join in the fun.

in fact, today i decided to take one of my first outdoor runs in months. it was a big step (get it, 'big step') for me. one, because my jacked-up knee has been healing from january's half marathon and secondly...by the time warm weather rolls around it is always hard for me to part with my treadmill. all winter long we keep up such a solid relationship and then summer hits and bam. i forget all about it...

wait...where was i?

oh yes, so i went running. and i kid-you-not when i say that joe-coug could have told me that a 5k race happening down ninth east, and i would have believed him. there were that many runners out.

all those cougs just doing their thing. basking in the glorious...oh-so-glorious and forgotten sun.

provo awoke from the dead today.

the ice thawed and campus villa released their captives (kidding, i've never even been to campus villa...it just looks scary from the outside).

sunshine makes people do wild and crazy things.

especially the cougs. they've been inside studying and going to f.h.e. all winter. they deserve some fun.

...in fact, i am pretty sure i saw a girl tragically attempting to perform 'the bend and snap' today (legally blonde reference--don't know it? click here. one of my all-time-favorite movies. this movie is so good that i based my sophomore year class officer campaign around it. and yes, i made it. so...there you go. "oh my gosh. the bend and snap, works everytime!")

days like these remind me of that legendary hike up to the y. my first year down in provo. that first gasp of spring air in late march.

it started it all. all these blurry-wonderful-oh-so-hazy-perfect years of who-even-knows what. and here i am. still breathing.

april is going to be just swell.

i can feel it.

Monday, March 28, 2011

holi, holi krishna.

i'm proud to announce to the world...

that i finally made it to the holi krishna festival of colors.

yes, i know. it is a good ol' modern day miracle.

the stars truly aligned.
just for me.

and as the hindu gods would have it, i did not get caught in any ridiculous freeway traffic...or have to work or forget about the date (the occurrences of years past).

you see, the festival of colors was one of those experiences i just had to have. it was a curiosity that needed to be understood. a void that had to be filled with chalky-colors-of-bright-yellow-blue-green-and-neon-pink (the last of which being very tough, almost impossible to get out of blond hair. really though. it was like...go through-a-whole-bottle-of-shampoo-and-scrub-out-vigorously-over-kitchen-sink hard to get out of my hair.)

overall, the holi krishna celebration was something i just had to see for myself.

and it rocked. (besides the straining for breath in the clouds of destroying colors and the burning in your eyes when they fill with the chalk floating in the air. my contact lenses will never be the same.)

but hey, it was the first time in my life that i could stand in a crowd of overzealous, possibly high individuals, covered it dirt and chalk, on a muddy hill outside the sri sri radha krishna temple screaming, "burn the witch, burn the witch, burn the witch."

ever since sophomore year american studies with birrell and wolsey i've always wondered what it would be like to live during the salem witch trials.

hm. maybe now i know.

though i am guessing that the puritans didn't have larisa stow and the shakti tribe rockin' their worlds with their krishna-indie-bad-a-rock music.

sha-sha-zam-zam (krishna style).

and man, the crowds that attend the holi krishna celebration ranged from the wildest of byu cougars, to the druggies of uvu, to the punk-a high school students of the spanish fork-payson areas, to hard core hippies...and of course, the actual worshipers of krishna.

one of the 'krishna legends' is the flirtatious, playful relationship of krishna and radha. see, lord krishna was considered to be a prankster and quite the ladies man when he was younger. all the girls wanted him.

apparently krishna was quite the t.h.d.n. (triple hottie double nottie).

anyway. one day he asked his mother, yashoda, why his skin was so dark and radha's skin so light. yashoda playfully suggested that he smear color on radha's face and make it any color he wanted (super romantic, right? 'hey babe. i don't really like your skin color. here--let me spread chalk all over your skin.')

hence, the festival of colors.


and although i am guessing that story isn't actually true--i really like it. the whole celebration is very playful, flirtatious and full of life.

a celebration of light-hearted-care-free-chalk-stuck-in-the-hair-bliss proclaiming that life is so very beautiful.

throw the colors up in the air and mosh the day away.

i'd call it a success (besides the arrival of multiple ambulances for the crowd surfering attempts gone horribly wrong).

holi krishna.

oh, and i didn't take my camera to the festival for fear of it being destroyed (which it would have been) so this is all i've got.

Friday, March 25, 2011

supermodel-esque.

the word is out: i'm not perfect.

i know, right? what the h.

in fact, i'm so far from perfect that 'perfect' probably can't even see the three zits that have oh-so-gracefully appeared on my struggling chin.

but hey now. hey. my goal was never to pose as a perfect human being.

sure. sometimes i like to think i am cooler than i am. but then i wake up and realize that only in my dreams do i have the wit of conan o'brien, the charm (and bad-a dance moves) of ellen degeneres and the unbeatable looks of brooklyn decker.

and with dreams like that-- waking up is not easy my friends (totally kidding. i wake up just fine. unless i don't. then i hit snooze like ten times.)

it's a cold-hard-truth-telling-slap-in-the-face kind of world dearies.

and frankly, i'm not a supermodel. shocking, i know. brooklyn, i guess you're on your own on this one. and though my sense of humor is pretty darn impressive (toot, toot)...it's not impressive enough to have my own late night show on tbs (oh, conan).

as for ellen, i can't even go there. she rocks. that woman is seriously my favorite.

it's hard to compete with 'perfect'.

but who says we have to?

i mean, besides it being thrown in our face by every media portal known to mankind...

i'm just not cut out to be 'that girl'.

i'm just me. that's kristen to some. kris to others. and keen to you.

perfect in my book is managing to get through the day without swearing out-loud or in some form under my breath (kidding. kind-of.)

seriously though, i swore in deseret industries a couple days ago. i mean, who does that!? (it was a low-point of the week.)

perfect in my world is having a clean kitchen stay clean for any amount of time over thirty minutes. i try not to expect too much more than that.

it's having an organized, tidy bedroom with a closet that looks like japan after tsunami 2011 (too far? ok.)

but hey, the closet doors can be shut. no one has to know.

perfect is never following the 'no carbs before bed' rule. never. ever. heck, my favorite bed time snacks are mainly carb-based.

it's treating yourself to a very-chocolatey-chippy-kneaders-cookie after a really long, painful day.

and seriously, just drink that diet coke when you're suffering from a caffeine headache. sip that down, guilt-free. i mean really, who cares. it's my choice to enjoy that chemically-zero-calorie beverage (and you better believe i'll run half-marathon's while i continue to love it).

it the words of my best-friend's mom "life just isn't worth living without my diet coke."

perfect in these parts is seeing tangled in 3-d once again at the dollar theater and quoting it all night long.

and listening to the same pearl jam song--black--over and over again. yes, i have been for a couple days now. it's like a drug. i can't stop.

as eddie says, "all the love gone bad turned my world to black.' love is not perfect. but perfect is loving. and all that love entails...like hashing out differences and experiencing each others' best and worst-selves.

perfect-schmerfect.

i'm the troubled girl that gets jealous over silly things. often 'crosses the line'. completely adores the movie 'lars and the real girl' (sidenote: it totally baffles me that no one else EVER likes this insanely-cool movie...it's soooooo good) and may get just a little too much enjoyment out of confrontation.

yes, that's me: miss-imperfect-kris.

judge me. love me. whatev.

perfect to me means having no clear understanding of the past, present or future. nope, no-understanding-what-so-ever is required.

this life is not about perfect. this world is about learning. it's about loving. it's about the little-imperfect-things that make it laughable.

like having turbo kick class kick by butt, watching my hair do nothing i want it to, and feeling bloated for like a week straight.

yup, perfectly perfect. deciding to stay home and watch full house re-runs instead of going to the gym. and going crazy in the car as i dance to 's and m' by rihanna (listen here.)

na, na, na, na. come on, come on, come on.


i guess what it all comes down to is that i'm tired of feeling like i always have to do better. why not just embrace life the way it is? within reason, of course.

we'd get nowhere in this beast-of-a-journey if we never sought after improvement (and trust me, i full-heartedly, 100% believe in making your own success and chasing after whatever it is you want in this life)....

but why not let some of the little things go? (i know what you're thinking, 'look whose talking'. the queen of not wanting to let the little stuff go. the master of repeating herself again and again. and the all-time reigning champion of worrying about anything and everything.)

and i mean it.

in the words of one of my professors, "life is tough. take an excedrin and move on."

we're not super-models. and who cares.

perfect is ____________________ (you fill in the blank).

and while you're thinking about that, you can listen to the unplugged version of black here. (and i would have sent you to the actual 'unplugged' video, but there was some kind of offensive language on the 'comment' section of the only video i could find. so this one is just a recording.)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

watch out.

notice: for all you men out there...
looking for a sexy-new-stylish-way to tell time,
pick this one.
please.

i have recently fallen in love with it.
it's from the lacoste spring-summer 2011 collection.

handsome, right?

check it out here.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

luck of the irish.

i'm here. another rainy night. my window is cracked open just a slight bit and it's filled my room with a rainy-fresh-pavement-ish-freshly-washed-laundry-kind-of-smell. speaking of which, i should probably fold those clean shirts.

my fruit punch gatorade to the left of me, partially frozen with small chunks of ice (mmmmgh).

and my bag of baked cheeto's to the right. i decided to mix it up from the baked lays this week. i'm trying to be spontaneous. or adventurous. or daring. or something along those lines of spicing up my life.

or shoud i say- in hopes of keeping life from getting too 'dangerously cheesy'.

which it can. if you're not careful.

without even realizing it's happening you could find yourself sitting in a third story apartment, with a giant chalkboard in front of you reading "to do- get bridesmaid dress hemmed at tailors, scrub/bleach bathtub, take back redbox, pick-up book for school and pack bag for weekend trip."

you'll take a sip of your fruit punchy goodness and realize. you haven't done any of those bulleted masterpieces as of that moment.

see, i have a love/hate relationship with "to do" lists.

i must have them. in fact, i make them daily. seriously. i do not miss a day.

the problem is, if i don't get them done then i go to bed feeling guilty, unsettled and depending on the "to do" load...possibly and probably stressed. eeek. yes, the word 'stressed' is an ugly one.

stress for me is a consequence of over-thinking.

yup, that's what i have pinned it down as. let's say something happens in life that maybe doesn't go my way. for example, my car has recently been having a lot of problems. it started with one and then just went downhill from there.

i then take that one incidence (like my car stalling) and decide (with no actual evidentiary support) that the car is finished with and that i am going to have to fork out some serious cash to go buy myself a new vehicle.

mind you, this is before i have actually had the car's issues diagnosed.

but really, why bother. apparently i'll diagnose the dang thing myself.

slight fever. runny nose. sore throat. yup, you're done for. might as well roll over and wait for the sweet release of death.

so as you can imagine, that stressed me out. when in actuality, it only took a few hundred bucks and my car was back to normal. healthy as a...camry.

over-thinking. that's my problem. but i as far as i know...there is no cure for it.

i mean, i'm still thinking about the vanilla-pudding-ish colored mini cooper that i saw driving past me today. really? pudding colored? who would do that...on any car really? let alone a mini cooper. i mean you're already pushing the limits of what's "cool" and what's not. why push it even further?

though i have been trying to get better about stressing. there is just too much going on around me that i could potentially stress about. and because of this...i've learned that you've just got to let some things go.

i've changed recently.

a lot.

man, i am different than i was at nineteen. ha, i'm different than i was four months ago.

thus far, twenty-two has been such a crazy-a year for me. filled with growing experiences, harsh realizations, everyday struggles, and the constant exhausting effort of trying to piece this b. of a jig-saw puzzle together.

life, eh?

i can't imagine how radically different i will be by the time i am thirty.

at this rate, i may have animorphed by then.

(p.s. i'd like to take this moment to admit that i have 'love me' by justin bieber playing on youtube at this very second. come on, admit it. it's so dang catchy.)

oh-the-fun-little-truths-of-life.

like how people are people. and people will be people. no matter their age. no matter their station in life. no matter how much you try to deny it. patterns, cycles, responses, consequences. it's almost rhythmical.

the truths, like how rain is pretty sexy. it just is.

and as cool as my brother's mohawk looked, if the girlfriend doesn't approve it's gonna be nixed (but you definitely rocked it while it lasted dane).

oh, and how i am insanely-in-love with ralph lauren's western-metallic flare that they have going on for spring. they've done it once again.

and how business is business whether you like it or not. and the undeniable truth that life honestly is better when you love what you are doing.

and yes i admit that sometimes i subract a few pounds when entering my weight into the treadmill at the gym.

ha, no idea why. pathetic? certainly.

i guess i think by not entering my full weight on the machine i magically become lighter.

tricky, right?


yup, those are the little truth's of life.

some, we don't really want to admit.
some...like the fact that i stress all the time...just stick with us, and we have to eventually own up to them.

like adding items that you've already completed to your to-do list just so you can check them off...

yes indeed.

that's life.

p.s. i took this picture at the st. patrick's day parade up at the gateway in salt lake. i love parades so much. and i'm like one-sixteenth irish. so i'm hoping for some luck.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

peanut butter and beiber fever.

peanut butter is by far (like out-of-provo-past-spanish-fork-out-of-payson-all-the-way-to-mona-and-beyond far) my favorite food. seriously guys, it's killing me. i could eat it on almost everything. at any moment. all day long.

why is it so dang good? and so not healthy for you?

and why do i not care?

num. num.

i eat it on wheat bread. i eat it on celery. i eat it on apples. i will not eat it with bananas. i eat it on spoons. i eat it with jelly. i eat it with toast. i eat it with chocolate. i eat it in a box. i eat it with a fox. i eat it here. i eat it there. i eat it everywhere.

okay, i'll stop now.

it's just such a steady part of my life. it's one of the necessities in my ability to get up and function everyday.

the basics: air. water. diet coke. peanut butter.

peanut butter is one of the simple pleasures that keep me stable and sane while enduring through weeks like these.

times of inconsistency. of blunt, ridiculously honest truths. and just learning to face the problems that are right in front of you.

all part of growing up. all part of blah blah blah. whatever.

and that creamy/crunchy (i'm a fan of both)-sticky-nutty goodness that saves my life.

oh, and quick sidenote: saw the justin beiber movie yesterday. i have just three simple words for you: never say never.

never.

i went into that orem cinemark healthy as a horse (minus my defective gallbladder and undiagnosable stomach issues) and i came out burning up with the BEIBER FEVER! sha-za-za-za-zam.

seriously though. i'm not kidding. it sounds bizarre, but i left that movie ready to make some big life changes.

see it. you'll never regret it. never.


so aside from having a life-changing experience while watching a completely brilliant marketing/pr/publicity-money-making effort for a sixteen year old pop-artist (in 3-D)...i took a small hike by myself yesterday (it's been in the fourties and fifties up here in p-town. which is comparable to a druken-spring-break-vacation in cabo for the cougs. so we're really eating it up.)

no, i didn't take a hike to ponder or to contemplate...or in hopes of coming to any deep conclusions. i mostly did it because swimsuit season is approaching. rather rapidly...and i mean, with weather like this you better believe that the cougs are going to be sun-bathing by the time we hit sixty. gotta' be prepared. at least that's what the cougars say.

really i just try to fit in. that's all.

where was i? oh yeah, back to the hike. eh-hem. so...there i am, bandana tied around my forehead (poser alert. i admit i like wearing bandanas but in all honestly, i'm not that legit. i shower everyday and i will not rat my hair into dreadlocks) with my i-pod in, swagging along to some 'big empty' (which-by the way-is an invigorating song to climb a mountain to.)

and eventually, i reached the top and took a breath.

ready to head right back down, i quickly stopped to take a quick look out over the valley. and at that moment...that tiny little moment...a whirlwind, almost as chilling as the gusts of no-it's-not-summer-yet-you-silly-cougs wind that graced over the ledge i stood on, of left-over-unresolved-heart-breaking thoughts and emotions from my life destructively plowed through my mind.

it kind of hurt.


for a moment i wanted to cry.

and then.

it stopped. and i felt peace.


calm. quiet. understanding. peace.

hm.

why do we find enjoyment out of letting the wounds fester?

why do we dig and dig...and dig? are we bored? curious? looking for trouble? is it our desire for emotion? to feel something? anything? whether it hurts or brings us joy?

why can't we just be happy with what-is-now?

not what could be
. not what was. but what is here and now.

my opinion: we're the generation of the greener grass.

always thinking about how much greener it is on the other side. the side that may not be ours just yet...but that could be.

oh-man it's a dangerous game.

it will kill.

we're always looking for what we don't have. looking for what is best. scared that though what we currently have in our possession might be 'good'...what is over there...beyond that dangerously fuzzy line of what we do and don't have...there might, just might be something even better.

this generation. this is us.

yup, we're driving ourselves straight into that grass. and soon that coveted green is going to be nothing more than some dead blades of over-looked opportunity and a front lawn that will never satisfy.

it's raining outside my window right now. it's late in the evening and earlier i took a bath. just one of those evenings.

sure, certain things i have figured out. some things, not so much.

there are things that i really suck at.

and then some things that i'm really great at (like eating peanut butter. nummmm.)

yeah, there are things that i should let go of.

and emotions that i shouldn't let linger.

things that may come to haunt me unexpectedly while standing on a mountain. there are things that i love. people that i need. things that i've lost. feelings that i've buried. people that i love. memories that i welcome--whether i should or not. there are issues that a struggle with. and moments when pride gets the best of me.

but really, it's all okay.

why?

because that's life. we're not perfect. life is not perfect. and for those moments, we've got peanut butter.

and justin beiber...i was like baby, baby, baby oh...like baby, baby, baby no...i thought you'd always be mine...

it's going to be a good week, because i'll never say never.

p.s. i saw michelle from the bachelor at ulta beauty in sandy last week. ironically enough, it was just a few days after i posted some slightly-harsh observations of her, brad and her 'orange-ish' skin on this blog. my apologies. maybe that was the universe's way of telling me to be nicer. (but seriously, she really does have orange-ish skin in real life and i am so happy she got sent home.)

Saturday, March 5, 2011

time heals. but i'm forever broken.

my life has been extraordinary.
blessed and cursed and won...
time heals but i'm forever broken.
by and by the way...
have you ever heard the words i'm singing in these songs?
it's for the girl i've loved all along...
can a taste of love be so wrong?

for you.

and thanks billy.
you always say it with honesty (cause you're pretty jacked up).

check out the song here, muzzle.

life's a great balancing act.

i want to be a mom. (i know, this is not a usual topic of expression for me...but here we go...)

maybe not today. correction: definitely not today. and definitely not tomorrow.

probably not next year. and maybe not the next.

or the next. (to sum it up: no time soon.)

but someday.

oh-how-i-want that so badly. please. (no, not necessarily the actual "being pregnant" part. the getting fat. the swollen ankles. the carrying around an alien-like-creepy-living-thing that will be growing inside of my body, kicking me from the inside out at two in the morning. in fact, pregnancy is probably my greatest fear in life. no, i'm not joking my first child is going to be an interesting experience. ha, to say the least. i've always been the type that won't feel other people's bellys when 'the baby is kicking'...and get's a little bit tense when holding a newborn. instead of babysitting when i was twelve, i would clean people's houses for money. ha.)

yeah, not that.
i want the stuff that comes after.

after the pain and weird-a things that the body does...

that being said, i realize i will have to go through the 'ew' part first. though i like to imagine that the stork is going to drop off mine.

but it's all worth it.

wednesday was dr. seuss's birthday. you probably already know this if you know me or read this blog regularly, but i love dr. seuss.

he is a literary genius.

i have a collection of most of his books sitting in my closet at home right now. they bring me so much joy.

are you wondering what brought on this random blurb of thoughts on wanting to be a mom and dr. seuss? let me explain.

see, i work right across from a library.


and a darling little library at that.

all day long on wednesday i watched as kids came out with their home-made dr. seuss hats embellished with red crayon and glued together with elmers glue.

i couldn't help but want that. 'i want that'--quoting napoleon dynamite.

no, not the hats. though they were tempting.

i wanted that.

that: to take my kids to story time on dr. seuss day at the city library.

so simple. so lovely. so me.

sure, it contradicts the slightly obnoxious 'i want to pursue my career' drum beat that i often choose to march along to.


and sure, that is great too. but not as great as this.

i want to see my children laugh as the animated librarian reads from 'oh the places you'll go.' i want to watch their eyes light up as we discover 'the lorax.' (think they'll catch it's political outcry for the environment at age seven?)

yes please, that is for me. i'll take it.

i want to tie my daughter's hair up in a pony-tail and tell her that she is the most beautiful girl that ever lived.

then whisper in her ear "you can be anything you choose to be ducky" and give her a kiss on the head.

she'll be beautiful. it will scare her daddy. that dreaded day when they boys start noticing her.

mmmgh. please. let me have that.

a little boy with bright blue eyes. he'll be curious. very, very curious. he will be adventurous. maybe run away from home to the tree's behind our house. he will claim that he is an indian. or a mountain man. or maybe a nomadic herder.

he will laugh in the face of danger. at least until dinner comes along.

maybe he'll be in a band. maybe he'll play baseball. maybe he'll do stupid things that boys do.

yup. i want all of that. every single bit.

so that's that.

happy birthday dr. seuss.

p.s. isn't the little girl in this picture one of the sassiest little things you've ever seen? i love it.


...step with care and great tact.
and remember...life's a great balancing act.
just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
and never mix up your right foot from your left.

-dr. seuss, oh the places you'll go.

Friday, March 4, 2011

save a horse ride a...single lady. eh-hem (part III).

ok. now for part three.
the real exciting stuff.
after dinner we hit the streets of salt lake city at
keys on main...
a piano bar on main street.
check out their website here.

erin in her bachelorette
sash and pink feather boa.

this is my new favorite picture of er-bear and i.
i love her so much.
and she's getting married!!!
these are my people.we paid the pianists to dedicate a song to er-bear.
the options we gave them were save a horse ride a cowboy by big and rich...
(you can thank aubry for these selections by the way...)
and single ladies by beyonce.
the crowd chose single ladies.
erin had the whole place dancing and singing along.
not sure what this face is all about...
it was a rockin' bachelorette party.
and i couldn't be more excited for our little erin and austin.
i'll post some pics of the wedding in may.
thanks for a great weekend.

love you girls.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

biaggi's (bachelorette extravaganza part II).

the bachelorette dinner was held at
biaggi's
in salt lake at the gateway.

can you say, num-num?
erin, her aunts and her mom.
diane, erin, emily and meredith.
(mom + sisters)
aren't they beautiful?
seriously. so gorgeous.
yours truly, emily, er-bear, jess, and aubs.
as you can see by the wrapping,
this bachelorette part alone is keeping victoria's secret in business.
erin recieved all sorts of lovely (sexy) gifts.
but i decided to keep this g-rated and only post the sexiest.
her night gown/rug/carpet-thing.
love it.

next up, bachelorette extravaganza part III.
yup, there is a part three.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

we've still got it (bachelorette extravaganza part I).

meet the bride-to-be.
(my bff, er-bear.)
this past weekend was her bachelorette party.
(i had been looking forward to this for months. and it rocked.)
we spent most of saturday afternoon at the spa.
heavenly.
notice the "he put a ring on it" bachelorette shirts.
we were a hit.
(here i am with the lovely erin.)
i put this picture up just because
i love aubry so much.
and no. i will not take it down aubs.
after a strenuous day at the spa.
we had some downtime at the little america hotel in salt lake.
before dinner...
of course, i snapped some pics.
not sure why this picture turned out so blurry.
but it's still cute.

yup, we've still got it.

stay tuned for the bachelorette extravaganza part II...