let me begin by venting. for just a second.
because i have just about had it up to 'here' (you can't see where here is, but trust me it's up there...like up-there-with- the "y"-on-the-mountain-up-there) with the road construction outside of my apartment complex.
not that the girls of belmont don't appreciate the constant cat-calling, horn-honking and raping-stares that we get walking to our cars from 6 a.m. to 5 p.m. everyday.
i mean, we don't want to seem ungrateful.
nothing more flattering than a complete disrespect for anything female with some boobs, butt and legs.
...on the positive side, who doesn't want a ridiculously-uncomfortable-slightly-demoralizing-self-esteem boost for the day?
as you may be able to tell by my disgusted undertones, i am anxiously awaiting the end of the seven peaks blvd. road construction tale.
sadly, judging by the small-city-size-holes in the ground...i'm thinking we have a while.
cheers to six in the morning, 'truck-backing-up-incessant-beeping' wake up calls. and the charming gentlemen that are becoming my new besties.
other than the forever-long, forever-strong road construction, i don't have much to complain about.
in fact, i was so excited with my recent thrift store find that i had to share a picture of it in this blog post.
drum roll please.
my lynyrd skynrd t-shirt. skull and all. yup, two dollars. can you say 'sold'?
one thing you should know about me (if you haven't already figured it out): i am a sucker for any sort of 70's rock band propaganda. especially in the form of a t-shirt. seriously.
i guess it's my way of clinging to the years that i never actually experienced but strongly feel like i was meant to be a part of.
1988 was just a few years too late.
yes. i'm the girl that buys tickets to see the oldies band america at tuacahn in st. george for a second time around. spoke to gerry from the audience during their concert on an indian reservation in tucson, arizona. jams out to neil young practically everyday. has danced the night away with all the old-folk at a life-changing-world-turning beach boys concert. just about dies with happiness when she hears the byrds come on in smith's grocery store. and owns a few too many beatles shirts.
this obsession is not for appearance. it is not an effort to somehow stand out or be different. it is a true love.
a love that i really can't explain. a love that just is.
on the other hand. i have to give credit to the music of today. i mean, come on...katy perry's new 'e.t.'
what the h.? want to see a perfect example of a large-budget-in-the-hands-of-the-wrong-people music video? check it out here.
two words: alien sex.
apparently we really can make anything and everything about sex in this world. including extraterrestrials.
welcome to earth peeps. we love creepy-sexual things. and you better believe that we get classier as the years go on.
nonetheless, i am victim to the music. it's catchy. it makes me want to run fast and beat the-you-know-what out of those e.t.'s.
whatever happened to drew barrymore and the family-friendly-completely-non-sexual-1980's extraterrestrial that we once knew?
i miss him.
come on everyone. 'beeeeeeee....good.' (in the words of e.t.)
this past weekend was a humbling experience. i was able to spend a good majority of it listening to general conference (for more info click here.)
it was enlightening, to say the least.
motivating. energizing. personal. and understanding.
and besides the certain talks that i fell asleep for (which i am blaming soley on the allergy medicine that i was forced to take due to the record breaking amount of allergens in the air this springtime)...it was a much needed wake up call for my life.
like a breath of fresh, allergen-free air.
if you open your heart to learning, you will. and it will be deep and personal. certain words will ring all so clearly and true. almost as if they couldn't have been written more perfectly if that had been written specifically with you in mind.
this time around, the leaders of the church talked a lot about marriage (as you can imagine, it's been the buzz around provo ever since.)
not only about dating and finding that special someone but also about those who are already married...who may be struggling or lacking adequate efforts.
this world is such a scary place. scary but oh-so-very-convincing.
somedays i look around and the pictures i witness are not-so-pretty. and franky, quite frightening.
i see people that have very little good to say about their marriages. i see divorces. separations after small amounts of time. i see loneliness. betrayal. and hurt.
ehhhh. it makes me cringe.
the past few weeks have been exceptionally bad.
kind of like like the universe was shoving all this negativity towards marriage directly at me.
in fact, i am willing to admit to you right now...that i was feeling a loss of hope in the idea of marriage.
don't get me wrong. i knew i wanted it. i knew that it was in the cards for me. of course.
but i feared it.
i know, right? i actually felt fear when thinking about marriage.
no, i wasn't always this way. there was a time, not-so-long-ago when i would have said 'yes' in a heartbeat. having complete faith in it.
naiviety is not always a bad thing. a lesson i have learned with every year i grow older.
and then circumstances changed. i found myself alone on an airplane, watching a little boy play with a rubiks cube.
at that point, i changed. i became colder and more reserved. scared of things not going right again. i learned how to flip off my emotions at any given moment.
i learned how to not care. more specifically- i let myself learn to not care (i take full responsibility for how i changed.)
and eventually...i found myself sitting in front of the television during sunday afternoon session of conference...sobbing.
...completely in tears as elder richard g. scott spoke of marriage in the most precious, personal of ways.
it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.
and i wasn't alone.
millions of others heard those same words. hundreds and thousands of others in similar situations relating to marriage.
we listened. and our hearts were touched.
i've said it before. but my generation is the generation of the greener grass. we're always looking for the very best...always curious as to what is over on the other side.
and we can come up with as many excuses as we want.
we can let the world convince us that marriage is painful and simply not worth the effort.
but let's not.
instead, we can listen to the words of elder richard g. scott. "it is so rewarding to be married. marriage is wonderful. you have times when you are extremely happy, times of testing, and times of trial. but the lord guides you through all of those experiences together."
i like that. a lot. in the words of a very cute little blonde haired boy that i once knew, "i like you...sometimes."
after running with my bff aubry today...a good four-ish miles and a solid fourty-mintues of run/chatting...i have diagnosed life as lovely with moments of 'just-keep-on-moving-forward' no matter how painful it might be. whether you are searching for someone and having no luck. or are scared of being lonely. or have just given up all-together...
chin up. because it will all be okay.
plus. i've got a lynyrd skynrd shirt.