...being that yesterday was the first 'official' day of summer i figure it's that time.
time for keen's-summer-list-of-pure-watermelony-goodness. (it's become somewhat of a tradtion. basically i just tell you all the things i am going to do this summer... fun, right?)
so, here we go.
1. mona. yes, i was planning on hitting-up my dear-ol'-mona-rope-swing this week, but unfortunately am now ill. rest assured, i will be swinging from those ropes asap.
2. rodeo topped with a fair and fireworks. really, those things all end up going together anyways... so i am going to shove them all in the same category. ye-haw, brad.
3. stand-up paddle boarding. i'm probably much-much-much too excited about this. but seriously... so freakin' excited.
4. the fourth of july she-bang. the 4th of july is one of the true loves of my life. check out the freedom festival in provo if you don't have plans. (you're missing out aubs.)
5. st. george, topped with zion's and tuachan... honestly, i already have tickets to a couple shows this summer. and then i'll be heading back in september for, drumroll please.... my boys: america. round two. see round one here.
6. farmers market. we'll see how this goes... but i'm going to give it a shot this summer.
7. provo river. yes...i kind of cringe as i say this but i'm going to try and make amends with the river who has... for three years in a row now... tried to take my life. yes, this is happening.
8. listen to lots of good music. something about great music streaming from the car window on a steamy summer day. love.
9. 'time with mi mama and mi papa' name that movie si, neesh, dane...anyone from the warwick household? i want some quality time with my family this summer. my sisters and brother are all grown up now... and i know there is a lot of hesitant change right around the corner. i want to eat this time up. yup, just like i am gonna eat up all this watermelon. mmmgh.
10. love. cliche. i know, gag me. but i have a strong desire just to love this summer. love life. love what i'm doing. love the moment... every breath of warm summer-bon-fire-filled air. i want to love it.
okay. ...have i missed anything? any other activities that i have to do? i'm open for suggestions.... pretty please.
...this instantaneous-face-to-facebook-page-i-chatting-video-skyping-tweety-bird world is seriously blowing my mind lately.
perhaps it's that i have spent the last month learning all about how the world wide web and how it's wonderful sites work (thanks jared. thanks jon. thanks for being patient with me.)
yup that's right, did you know that there are physical web servers that files for web pages have to be stored on? yeah. like rooms full of servers that hold the files that are used to create websites?
i sure as h. didn't.
stuff can't just be thrown into cyber space and stationed there. it has to have a home. aka--hosted somewhere.
at least that's how i view it in my mind. kind of like a kid leaving for college for the first time...he can go off and meet anyone, do anything...go where he pleases...but he has to have that original foundation where his roots are planted deep. and that is home.
yes, just like a website.
i know, i'm so freakin' smart.
this world is taking my head for a spin...
another example of this crazy-technology-driven society happened a couple weeks ago.
i was in gap with one of my friends. he was absolutely certain that he recognized one of the employees there.
he repeated this. over and over.
how do i know her? he asked himself again and again.
somehow he thought he knew this girl. she was friends of his friends or from his home town. something along those lines.
honestly, i didn't really care.
i mean...if he was that interested in her. get a phone number and ask her out.
i went on with my shopping and a few moments later i turned to find him--iphone in hand--scrolling through random facebook pages.
it took him--at very most--a minute before he had her profile pulled up. right there. being held in the palm of his hand. with her physically standing roughly twelve feet away from us.
he wasn't "friends" with her.
but had recognized her from pictures with other friends. personally, i found this creepy. and uncomfortable.
like walking in on someone sitting on the toilet. it's so unsettling even though you don't really see anything. it's invasive. it just is.
and i told him so. i strongly felt like our pretty-little-cute-as-a-button gap girl was totally being violated right now.
this isn't creepy. this is the world we live in.
he was right.
and though that didn't make me feel any less weirded out or find it any less invasive that he could stand their and know this girl without even speaking to her...
the part about this being the world that we live in. the world we have created for ourselves. the world we buy into. the world we crave and need. yup, that part was all true.
we're curious creatures, eh?
who crave and thirst for information of any kind. and we want it fed to us like freakin' apes in a caged zoo.
and once it's thrown at us, we're going to swallow it whole and run around screaming for more. and now. please.
one magic touch of an iphone.
and we can 'know' the hot gap girl. relationship status. education. work experience (duh. think we figured that one out). hobbies. interests. favorite books. tv shows (i mean, i could of told my friend she was into the bachelorette and gossip girl already. you don't need fb to sum up those kind of things).
with the scroll through a photo album we can see what her friends are like. what she wears. what kind of style she goes for. guys she has dated. what kind of activities she does on a weekend night. and just how slutty she is willing to go over the fb...
we can know just about any shallow--superficial thing that we need/want/love to know.
right down to about two and half layers below the surface.
it's a perfect world we live in.
so cheers. cheers this lovely morning to the gap girl and her all-so-revealing-and-meaningful fb profile.
you've got to love it.
even though--most of the time--i just don't understand it.
kind of like the phrase "come correct". i'm hearing it all over the place--in business meetings, street conversations...amongst friends.
i mean, what the h. does that even mean?
according to the online rap dictionary(yes the online rap dictionary does exist. check it here)it means: 'to represent the real'.
okay, well...good to know. because up until now i'm pretty sure i have been walking around for twenty-three years, day-by-day representing the unicorns and leprechauns...and edward and jacob and their gangs of fantastical creatures...and while i was at it, i figured i might as well hold true to my beliefs that i will one day marry ashton kutcher and bare his beautiful children.
uh-huh, darn straight that's what i represent.
...but maybe i'll stop doing that now. and perhaps i will finally...oh yes, finally come correct.
and as long as i'm coming correct...
i should probably admit that it's been a rough week. however. it's been beautiful.
and i've learned a lot.
like watching your sisters raft down a park river on a raft that is much to small in rapids that were bigger than expected can leave you laughing so hard that you have tears streaming from your eyes.
also, that random trips to the pet store are sometimes desperately needed. i seriously love puppies.
and once again, chocolate chip cookies pull through. they never fail.
marriage really is a beautiful thing.
oh and sleep is oh-so-gooooooood-- when you can get some. and i seriously have the best friends in the whole entire world.
and as it turns out...they can keep us watching the bachelorette(even though i seriously could slap ashley so dang hard. man, she's so whiny and annoying). oh, and how will they do that you ask? by tossing a BENTLEY RETURN teaser at us! are we serious?! of course i'll be watching!
do you ever have those weeks where 'yesterday' seems like it was ages ago?
why is that?
whatever the reason, i'm in the midst of one right now. the last four or five days have left me feeling like i was picked up by some sort of whirlwind and then dropped in the middle of nowhere.
maybe it was a magical land of oz where i can get me some red sparkly shoes. hm.
well, either way. there's no place like home.
am i right? or am i right?
and either way...i'm left not really sure where the yellow brick road is going to lead. but trusting that it will lead me to the destination where i can obtain the things i most desire.
fortunately, i already have a brain (unlike our friend the scarecrow).
and being that i have often felt the pros and cons to having an actual beating heart--i'm thinking i'm good there (but props to you tin man and while you're out questing for a heart...check out this song.)
as for courage. i guess everyone could use more courage in this life. but it's not at the top of my concerns currently.
for a lion though. yeah, that should definitely be at the top of his list.
so i guess now it's just a matter of trusting that the yellow brick road...or red brick road...or dirt road...or whatever i choose is going to be the best for me.
maybe i can even wear some fabulous shoes while doing it. i'm thinking that i'm gonna nix the sparkly red ones. red isn't really my thing.
so what do i know about this whimsical emerald city that i'm headed towards?
what is it that i really want? what am i hoping to find at the end?
...questions that play on repeat through my mind's playlist every single day of my existence. (as you may have noticed. i suck--majorly suck--at just 'letting my worries go' and 'seeing where life takes me'.)
nope, not my thing either. maybe even more 'not my thing' than sparkly red shoes.
i just can't sit back and know that they winds will work in my favor and lead me to a beautiful island with hammocks and endless mango smoothies(the reason i have always struggle with swallowing 'the secret').
i'm not that kind of person. wish i was. but i'm not.
i have to know that those winds are headed southeast and that southeast is exactly where i want to go. and i'll be up on deck running that ship the whole freakin' time if i have to. probably even if i don't have to...
and i have to know that the yellow brick road is more than just a pretty road made of bright yellow sun-dried clay. no sparky, i don't care if it's cute and fun if it's not the direction i want to be headed.
that being said...i mean, 'it's casual. whatever."(ross line. 'the one after joey and rachel kiss'. i know. i need to chill on the friends.)
and the thing is...it's time.
i didn't initially see it coming. just like poor-little-dorth. one minute she's in kansas doing her thing and the next she's being caught up in a tornado with her dog toto (maybe i need a small dog.).
you can't really plan on these things. it's just life.
yes, that's right. landing in a colorful land of little people, good and bad witches, and magical wizards is all just part of life ladies and gentlemen. honestly. i never liked the story much. and ironically, i think i know what dorth was going through.
there are things i know for certain. and this week alone has taught me many of them.
i know that we all deserve to be happy. really, we all do. that scarecrow seriously deserves a brain (as do many girls that i encounter living in provo. cheap shot, i know.)...and the tin man really does deserve his heart. i can't imagine life without loving and feeling...and emotion. both good and bad.
we all deserve happiness. except for the wicked witch of the east. let's just melt her, eh?
i was thinking about all of this while i went running this morning. no, not melting witches. thinking about choices to be made.
and thanks to a recommendation from a now--23 year-old--best friend of mine (her birthday was yesterday woot, woot--pictures to come)...i've been running up to some trails along the mountains down here.
i rarely see another person while running these trails.
and today i got lost in the movement. i let myself become engulfed with emotion and driven to the point of not even realizing how far i had run.
ahead of me were dark storm clouds. i could hear deep roaring thunder through my ipod headphones.
my initial reaction was to turn around and run towards the sunny blue skies that were now behind me. the safe, comfortable that i am always so scared to leave behind...i do love blue skies (as you all know). but i didn't.
in fact, i went faster.
into the storm. i was ready to take it on one drop of rain at at time.
and i did. (it really wasn't all that bad...but just go with me on this...)
eventually the black clouds headed east over the mountains and i finished my run.
i made it through the storm. everything was okay.
so. yellow brick roads. mountain trails. wicked witches and dark storm clouds. they're all the same really.
make a decision. choose a path. and go for it. that's what they're telling me. don't let the scary clouds stop us.
or the comfort of the sunny blue.
agreed? yeah? ok. let's make this happen.
p.s. i included this picture because i'm reals-bad hoping that this beach house is at the end of my fun-little yellow brick road :)
i'm tired now. just another by pete yornis playing as i fold this laundry that's been sitting here for two days. the light melody plays and i think of those long slender hands, strumming across those old guitar strings. me--forgetting to breath.
remembering how frightened i felt.
not knowing how to break the news. how to tell him.
hm. i guess it's just one of those nostalgic songs. the kind that can send the chills of old-repressed-memories up and down a girls spine.
you have those? or is it just me...?
swiftly walking through the grocery store to grab some milk. just milk that's all, acting like for some non-existent reason i am in a hurry.
i guess it's just one of those songs that seems to speak out to you. like when the writers sat down to write this song, they met in front of all-telling-storyboard of your life and then catered the words to directly hit at all your insecurities and past fears.
you have one of those? or is it just me?
the memory of driving across oahu--wind blowing through your hair as innocent as your every breath--seventeen, full of hope and beautiful.
ocean waves and air that smelled like a bouquet of tropical flowers.
...i do actually believe my spirit animal to be a giraffe. respect it, please. am mildly obsessive compulsive. but whatever, right? was born a true californian. spent most my childhood in the ocean. ...claim utah as home 100%. and am about as girl as it gets.
i have a life dream to go stand-up paddle boarding. (if i found out i was dying tomorrow, i would seriously go do this right now. aubs, you down?) and anyone who knows me, knows that i live for the 4th of july. (i'm like a giddy-boy-crushing-fourteen-year-old at parades. love them.) am classically a 90's-grunge-and-70's-rock kinda girl. but enjoy getting down and funky to my girl rihanna on the radio.
i'm super bugged by the color of ashley's hair. (probably because at one point, my hair was an odd browny-ish-red color. and well...i don't really want to talk about that time of my hair's life. we're sticking to blonde ladies and gentlemen.) am a sling-bag carrying, feathery jewelry wearing, retro wanna-be. i hate tandem bikes. seriously, hate them. (why? because i get so frustrated when i don't have control when riding a bike.) and am easily startled.
i have rockstar friends that--excuse my language--kick-ass at what they do, was a nerd all my life (ask the front desk peeps at my elementary school. i won most scholarly and 'student of the...[month, year, day, week, etc...]" awards.) and started wearing glasses in the third grade. (as pictures will show, my glasses never fit right and always sat crooked on my face. my nose doesn't have the curve at the top that most people's does... i know, right? yup, i even looked the nerd part. thank heavens for that first pair of contact lenses.)
i'm scared to death of fish. and tornadoes. (i blame twister. the movie. not the colorful, dotted game. and as for the fish...i blame my fear of lakes. which comes from my 5th grade class halloween party experience of watching the creature from the black lagoon. so freakin' traumatizing.) i have an inch long scar on my right pointer finger that looks like a nun. and dig my freckles in the summer time.
i love watching people find confidence in themselves. ...eat cold cereal for probably two meals a day. i am crazy about the names blake and chase. but for girls. and know that i will one day have a total diva for a daughter. (which i love the thought of more than small puppies and chocolate-chip cookies combined.)
i'm not afraid--at all--to put people in their place. i'm up for a challenge. and ready to fight. and i know one day. sooner rather than later....i will take a great leap into some unexplored waters of crystal clear dreams. and do something great.... (hopefully)
and for the record. i'm craving some dan in real life and paradise chocolate chip cookies. but maybe i should branch out...? suggestions? oh, and my little sister neesh comes home for summer semester tomorrow. let the party begin.