Thursday, June 9, 2011

my yellow brick road.

do you ever have those weeks where 'yesterday' seems like it was ages ago?

why is that?

whatever the reason, i'm in the midst of one right now. the last four or five days have left me feeling like i was picked up by some sort of whirlwind and then dropped in the middle of nowhere.

or wait.

maybe it was a magical land of oz where i can get me some red sparkly shoes. hm.

well, either way. there's no place like home.

am i right? or am i right?

and either way...i'm left not really sure where the yellow brick road is going to lead. but trusting that it will lead me to the destination where i can obtain the things i most desire.

fortunately, i already have a brain (unlike our friend the scarecrow).

and being that i have often felt the pros and cons to having an actual beating heart--i'm thinking i'm good there (but props to you tin man and while you're out questing for a heart...check out this song.)

as for courage. i guess everyone could use more courage in this life. but it's not at the top of my concerns currently.

for a lion though. yeah, that should definitely be at the top of his list.

so i guess now it's just a matter of trusting that the yellow brick road...or red brick road...or dirt road...or whatever i choose is going to be the best for me.

maybe i can even wear some fabulous shoes while doing it. i'm thinking that i'm gonna nix the sparkly red ones. red isn't really my thing.

so what do i know about this whimsical emerald city that i'm headed towards?

what is it that i really want? what am i hoping to find at the end?

...questions that play on repeat through my mind's playlist every single day of my existence. (as you may have noticed. i suck--majorly suck--at just 'letting my worries go' and 'seeing where life takes me'.)

nope, not my thing either. maybe even more 'not my thing' than sparkly red shoes.

i just can't sit back and know that they winds will work in my favor and lead me to a beautiful island with hammocks and endless mango smoothies (the reason i have always struggle with swallowing 'the secret').

i'm not that kind of person. wish i was. but i'm not.

i have to know that those winds are headed southeast and that southeast is exactly where i want to go. and i'll be up on deck running that ship the whole freakin' time if i have to. probably even if i don't have to...

and i have to know that the yellow brick road is more than just a pretty road made of bright yellow sun-dried clay. no sparky, i don't care if it's cute and fun if it's not the direction i want to be headed.

that being said...i mean, 'it's casual. whatever." (ross line. 'the one after joey and rachel kiss'. i know. i need to chill on the friends.)

and the thing's time.

i didn't initially see it coming. just like poor-little-dorth. one minute she's in kansas doing her thing and the next she's being caught up in a tornado with her dog toto (maybe i need a small dog.).

you can't really plan on these things.

it's just life.

yes, that's right. landing in a colorful land of little people, good and bad witches, and magical wizards is all just part of life ladies and gentlemen.

honestly. i never liked the story much.
and ironically, i think i know what dorth was going through.

there are things i know for certain.

and this week alone has taught me many of them.

i know that we all deserve to be happy. really, we all do.

that scarecrow seriously deserves a brain
(as do many girls that i encounter living in provo. cheap shot, i know.)...and the tin man really does deserve his heart. i can't imagine life without loving and feeling...and emotion. both good and bad.

we all deserve happiness. except for the wicked witch of the east. let's just melt her, eh?

i was thinking about all of this while i went running this morning. no, not melting witches. thinking about choices to be made.

and thanks to a recommendation from a now--23 year-old--best friend of mine (her birthday was yesterday woot, woot--pictures to come)...i've been running up to some trails along the mountains down here.

they're gorgeous.

and isolated.

i rarely see another person while running these trails.

and today i got lost in the movement. i let myself become engulfed with emotion and driven to the point of not even realizing how far i had run.

ahead of me were dark storm clouds. i could hear deep roaring thunder through my ipod headphones.

my initial reaction was to turn around and run towards the sunny blue skies that were now behind me. the safe, comfortable that i am always so scared to leave behind...i do love blue skies (as you all know).

but i didn't.

in fact, i went faster.

into the storm. i was ready to take it on one drop of rain at at time.

and i did. (it really wasn't all that bad...but just go with me on this...)

eventually the black clouds headed east over the mountains and i finished my run.

i made it through the storm. everything was okay.


so. yellow brick roads. mountain trails. wicked witches and dark storm clouds. they're all the same really.

make a decision. choose a path. and go for it. that's what they're telling me.

don't let the scary clouds stop us.

or the comfort of the sunny blue.

agreed? yeah?

ok. let's make this happen.

p.s. i included this picture because i'm reals-bad hoping that this beach house is at the end of my fun-little yellow brick road :)


  1. 1. let me curl up and die in that dream of a room
    2. Dorth is a horrid nick name
    3. okay lets!


from keen.