and how it hurts? and how, when you proceed to stub your toe with other people present you usually make it known and possibly react more dramatically than if you were in a room by yourself?
like when i accidentally fell down the stairs while wearing heels this morning.
it didn't seem like much.
but then i looked down to find a cut and bruised arm with blood dripping down my elbow.
i mean, if someone had been there...it really could have been a dramatic scene. a frantic tumble down the narrow stairwell, left beaten with a bloody arm. all while wearing platform heels. eh-hem. not too shabby.
i was alone. and i didn't make a peep.
just cleaned up the mess and accepted the hurt.
when no one knows. when no one is there. why bother with the fuss?
you just clench your teeth, tightly shut your eyes. and wait. wait for the initial sting to dissipate.
it hurts less that way. i promise.
no tears. no yelling. no grunting or screaming.
just pain. pain that only you know at that moment.
kind of like life, eh?
sometimes it really hurts. in fact, sometimes it hurts like hell. the initial pain may be so intense, that it leaves you hurled over on the icy ground choking through tears.
sitting outside a three story lamp-lit window hoping for signs of life.
astounding, isn't it? you'd think as a human race we'd get to used to the hurting.
but really we don't.
and when no one is there to watch. then nobody knows.
you mumble some highly unnecessary curse words and wipe down your swollen, tear-stained eyes in the ill-maintained walmart bathroom.
and you move along to pick up some great value brand cereal and cleaning products. because you're a cheap-generic-brand-kind-of-girl.
the cashier says to you, "honestly, i think this cereal is better than the brand name."
agreed, you respond with a smile.
she doesn't know. she just wants to talk about cereal. and really, you're okay with that.
i guess my point is. that life moves on.
everyone has their own problems. everyone has something they are dealing with. honestly, most people are currently experiencing or are witnessing something painful.
and you never know what someone may be concealing.
so, what then? you ask.
i guess we do our best. throw on some full house re-runs. take a long, steamy shower in a pitch black bathroom (so emo. but so therapeutic).
and call it a night.