confession. i used to think that only certain accomplishments and certain achievements could bring real happiness.
this embarrassingly naive notion came from my somewhat fantastical view of society and of life.
honestly. i blame it on the one-too-many-mk-and-a (mary kate and ashley) movies i watched in my tweens.
paris. atlantis. australia.
those twins did it all. and always, always ended up with a new-and-oh-so-charming boyfriend by the end of it.
props girls. props.
and it took a few hard-b-slaps across the face. but eventually i realized, life just isn't that way.
there is no easy answer to finding happiness.
i wish i could make it plain and simple. oh, yeah money will bring you everlasting bliss. yeah, just get a lot of that.
or. yes darling, fall head-over-heels-in-love. that will bring you forever and ever-never-ending happiness and solve all your problems while you're at it.
i mean, i'm not to saying that it can't.
but these things come with no guarantee.
ask my friend with two children. whose husband just up-and-left one day.
sadly, there is no mathematically based formula for a happy life. (and honestly that is probably a good thing because i suck hard-core at math. ask my statistics professor.)
i am writing today with a message. a lesson i learned in the past forty-eight-ish hours.
a lesson. i want and need to share with anyone feeling that you could be happier in life. anyone who feels a lack of. or that something may be missing.
to the brilliant mind who once told me we could never be content with life because of the gap between reality and perfection that we cannot bridge.
to my dear friend who feels lost in life. who is not quite sure where they want to be.
to the beautiful blue-eyed girl i don't really know all that well. that came home crying tonight.
yes, to all of you.
i'm in your same boat.
yup. in fact, i am rowing right along side of ya.
and though i don't have any formulaic answers for you. i do have this.
a quote. by sharon g. larsen.
"...when we determine within ourselves that we will be the best we can possibly be, the best of life will come to us."
seems simple, eh?
if we focus on being the best possible versions of ourselves. we're going to wake up one morning and realize, that the best of life is getting us.
obviously. there is a lot more that goes into it that callously saying okay, i'll be the best me i can be. shazam.
it takes work.
a hell of a lot of work. and not only the daily repetitive, persistent...just-do-it-until-it-does-you-good kinda stuff. but the emotional stuff too. the kind that will come back to haunt you when you least expect it.
the kind that will tease at your senses.
and cheaply mock your weakest of personality glitches. tugging at your coattails, pulling you downward. hoping--if they succeed in their cause--that they will to leave you along the roadside emotionally torn to pieces. showering in a pitch black bathroom. dreaming of bluer skies.
and that is where it gets tough.
that. my dears. is where we just have to plow on through and continue to progress in life.
and we improve.
one day at a time. minute by minute. lunch break by lunch break. we find ways to improve the people we are.
i heard this quote this past weekend.
it wasn't said to stand out. it wasn't written with hot-pink marker on the white board or sent out in the cute-bedazzled-hand-out-form that relief society sisters sometimes do.
but it rang in my mind with complete clarity.
really. i couldn't have wiped it from my thoughts even if i had wanted to.
it was something that i was destined to hear. something that became the answer to many of my current trials, questions and issues in life.
i guess we often assume that there is some exact answer for our questions and concerns.
or perhaps an all-telling book. 'the one true way to find happiness' (which--by the way--i just googled. and there are many versions of this title to try out. if you wish.)
but no book--no article on the web--no advice column or motivational speaker is going to have answers for you. for your life. for you personally.
no one else will no how to make you happy.
others may love you. they may show you affection. they may cradle you and protect you. it will make you feel warm and equally as in love. it will make you happy. and it's such a beautiful thing.
but--in my opinion--that isn't the foundational happiness of the individual. and that kind of happiness that may or may not hold up in times of struggle.
it frightens me.
when i hear others talk about how if they could only find 'that someone' then they would be happy.
and don't get me wrong--i know that finding that kind of love and companionship brings intense amounts of joy and security. and i want it just as much as the next joe. jill. whatever.
but i find a flaw in that logic.
because you can't depend on someone else to be your reason, your source for happiness.
and yes, i know m.k. and a. seem to find it every time. no matter their whereabouts. those girls have just got it all figured out.
speaking of which, i'm kind of craving some full house. some uncle j. and becky. topped up with a touch of d.j. and a little mary kate and ashley olsen. nothing wrong with that.
just be the best you that you can possibly be. and the best of life will come to you.
i feel pretty good about that. yup.
okay, that's all for today.