on a normal day, i would wait well into lunch to start chugging down the caffeinated and chemically-enriched-artificial-sweeteners.
but not today.
for two main reasons, 1) i had to be up much earlier than my rem cycle would have liked (seriously, this last week i efficiently went from being a semi-decent morning person to being the least effective early riser on the planet. i guess consistently going to bed at wee hours of the morning will do that to a person. who knew, eh?) and 2) i woke up from the night with my stomach already on the fritz...and nothing helps ease it through a rough morning like some carbonated bubbles.
this being the case, i decided to swing by my favorite mickey-d's on my way to work.
this mcdonalds is amazing (p.s. i have a slight obsession with mcdonalds as a whole--weird, yes---let me explain. it is not because i eat there often--though i do love their new oatmeal and fruit breakfast and am guilty of craving their fries way too much--but because they are one of those corporations...like apple that seem to always have the lead on their industry. they do it first. they do it right. and they are always about five or six steps ahead. when you stay ahead...you rule. and others have to follow your command. nevermind their contribution to obesity and food with ridiculously high fat content (seriously, people should learn moderation anyways). mickey-d's plays the game. and not only do they play the game, they create the game as they go along. it blows my mind. and sure, soon enough disney, apple, mcdonalds, walmart and oprah may take over the world. but until then, cheers everyone.)
anyhow, back to my morning...i love this particular mcdonalds because the employees are all so very, very friendly and accommodating. (honestly, i am a hard-core-sucker for good customer service--one of the reasons i go to the same gas station over and over again in provo, and the same reason i love shopping at nordstrom. customer-freakin'-service.)
however, the drive-thru line was ridiculous. so i decided to go inside.
while in line, i began chatting with a sweet elderly man standing behind me.
he had quite the story to tell.
he told me about living his whole life in utah. raising children. and losing his lovely wife just a few years earlier.
he couldn't tell me enough how beautiful and sophisticated she was.
and how much he had loved her.
my cup was handed to me. and his dollar menu mickey-d's breakfast was served to him on a plastic tray. and we parted ways.
as i turned at the door to give a parting wave, i watched him take a sip of his orange juice and unwrap his sandwich.
i suddenly felt sad. almost enough to make me cry.
his wife was gone.
and i wondered. what is it that he is now looking for?
he's had great love. he's felt of its magic.
does he want to find it again?
perhaps he just wants someone to talk to while he eats his breakfast...? or maybe is just counting down the days until he will once again see his wife? does he believe in life after death? is he holding onto this breath of this world or ready to give it up?
one of my favorite parts of meeting new people is learning about what matters most to them.
sometimes you'll find that there just isn't a lot of depth. it's just this phase of life. the 'young adult' time can very easily become a 'selfish' time of living. and i am not exempt from that. trust me. i have been on my fair share of dates and spent enough time in young adult social scenes to know that there are just some people that don't seem to have much substance.
sad, but true. whatever.
and then there are those people that rock my-little-humpty-dumpty-world right off of my blog-writing-love-searching-skeptic-romantic-deep-at-heart wall.
people that seem to understand things that i do not.
people with extraordinary depth. and an understanding of life. of love--in any form. and an experience with a reality that i have not yet experienced.
and these individuals are the ones that mystify me. that leave me lying in bed at night. just thinking.
the peeps are the ones i yearn for.
last night i saw crazy stupid love.
overall, a tiny-bit depressing. but sprinkled with very comical moments. and of course, topped off with some ryan gosling.
basically a simple story about people having different objectives. different experiences. different goals. different motives. and yet, all wanting the exact same thing in the end. love.
and it got me thinking.
thinking about what is most important to me.
sometimes, i honestly convince myself that being single and independent is just easier. because in many ways it is.
you only have yourself to worry about. you can control your life. keep it stress free. stay unattached. and focus on individual progression.
really. can anyone deny that?
but then i discover pinterest. and i realize. i realize that it doesn't matter if it is easier or not. it is what i want (which is basically the moral of the movie last night).
a friend told me about it. and i am decently close to being obsessed with it.
let me explain. eh?
so, today i finally decided to go see what the whole 'online pinboard' thing was all about.
the gist of it. as you browse websites, blogs...tumbrs etc...and you 'pin' the things you like to different 'boards' that you create. i know, right???
it's quite simple. and quite brilliant.
frankly, i'm a little pissed i didn't think of it first, but whatever.
and while experiencing a serious pinterest-weed-like-high today...i realized that out of all the pictures of fashion icons, designer homes, and beautiful people...it was this picture of a spunky-little-blonde-haired diva that took over my complete attention.
and i wanted that (once again. my napolean dynamite reference found here.)
more than anything.
more than my coveted trip to seattle. more than my trashy dream to see pearl jam live in concert. more than my childish desire to have a library full of books. more than i crave having a long-haired cow hide rug for my husbands future office.
...more than the career i often fantasize about. more than the kick-ass-eclectically-simple-home i will one day have. more than all the money and beautiful items of free people clothing in the world.
more than all of it.
i want that love.
just like everyone, really.
a special, romantic, funky love between my husband and i. the kind of love that you can't really explain without sounding foolish....and the cherishing, nurturing, 'could-i-ever-love-anything-more' kind of love for my children.
because really...if we're getting down to the nitty gritty.
the fact of the matter is, when i hit up mcdonald's breakfast menu at the age of eighty-nine (and of course, by then they will have taken over the world)...
the insane amounts of surprising and oh-so-satisfying love i experienced in this life is really all i will care to talk about with the twenty-three year old diet coke addict standing by me in line.
whether she really cares or not.
that just all kind of spilled out. my apologies (but hey, that's why i write...i guess.)
...i think that little old man brought out a little bit of my romantic side.