Friday, December 30, 2011

my most recent obsession.

picture from my instagram here.

acai bowls
they are so delicious. healthy. and refreshing.
and they're real simple.
(and for those of you that know me in the kitchen--i need simple)

just blend frozen strawberries and acai juice
add sliced banana
sprinkle with granola and drizzle with honey

straight from the land of hawaii
thanks to my sis-sis neesh

also, i did a little guest post on a friend's blog today.
check it out here.

oh and you should follow me on twitter.
i'm really into it these days.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

winter glam.

so, i styled for a photoshoot earlier this month.
and i'm kind of in love with the way it turned out.

i know, right?
angela is too pretty for words.

see more of the shoot on the lovely chantel's blog.

and if you're in need of any wedding/lifestyle photography...
she's your gal.

Monday, December 26, 2011

diet ibc and a happy new year.

the other day. i almost bought diet ibc rootbeer.

yeah, it's true.

diet ibc.

is that some sort of all-time-low?

i mean, as if wandering around walmart, picking up six-packs of an alcohol-look-alike-not-even-moderately-caffeinated soda isn't bad enough.

and then to tag the 'diet' label onto it.

eh-he-hem. man, i am weird.

i made it 3/4 of the way up to the cashier before realizing that i had no idea what the hell i was doing.

and then found myself standing--somewhat lost--in the produce section, laughing at the bizarre-pathetic nature of what i was experiencing. with that--i immediately set the six-pack down and left to pay for the mascara i initially went in for.

eight dollars.

eight dollars for a tube of brown-black goop that i sweep onto my eyelashes on a daily basis. eight dollars for a product that makes my eyes 'pop out'. eight dollars to 12-long-lasting-hours of distraction from the dark circles beneath my blood shot eyes (i currently have a eye-straining-cold)

eight dollars--that somewhere along the line of growing up as a female, enduring through puberty and staying afloat amidst the ninth grade politics--that i choose to spend on a monthly basis. to be the kind-of-beautiful i should be.

no--i'm not a feminist. i love my make-up and hair products. i enjoy dressing up and strutting some serious game in my most flirtatious heels.

i mean, who doesn't?

instagram, ladies. instagram.

but i do at times think about these kind of things while standing in line at the community walmart, dropping a solid eight dollars on a 4 1/2 inch long tube of chemicals. chemicals that the world has said will make me sexxxxxxy.

perhaps, perhaps i should have stuck with the ibc.

it's these moments. moments standing in the walmart line with the slightly-emo-eighteen-year-old-chica at the register...wearing a stained t-shirt with a neckline that's dropped about two inches lower that i would have preferred--that i start thinking about things like that charming couple that's been on my mind.

the one that things seem to have worked out well for. the one's living the coveted and 'blog-worthy' life ('blog-worthy' is new lingo for 'picture perfect' fyi).

a life that is--by-all-appearances--m.a.g.i.c.a.l.

sometimes this very thought haunts and teases at me. but only because it's something that i don't understand. i start thinking about my experiences. experiences where i was involved and experiences when i was a by-stander.

watching the happy couple over skype. listening to the woe's of the other in the kitchen.

wondering how some people get it right. and others just don't.

contemplating how i spent so long believing in one thing. and then realizing that it wasn't the reality i thought it was.

and yes. all the while i'm still standing in the walmart line. no, apparently miss-emo-low-shirt is not the quickest cashier in the book.

but i don't mind. i've really got nowhere to be.

why not here?

and honestly, i don't mind the time to just stand and wait. and think. it's been an non-stop couple of weeks. filled with all sorts of ups and downs.

i've heard of more people getting divorced than i even like to mention. and with each and every tale of 'so-&-so" getting divorced because of "x and x" reason, i can feel my heart drop into my gut just a little bit more. icky.

i don't care for it.

and then, on the other-happy-holiday-merry-christmas-grand-ol'-new-year side of things. we've got more engagements popping up on facebook and being announced via text and posted on instagram than i can even keep track of.

coincidence? no, not in my opinion.

it's just that time of the year.

even more than valentines day (most ridiculous holiday in the history/invention of holidays), more than the "june bride" season (running from may to mid-july) and more than the early 'summer-fun-has-come-to-an-end-time-to-get-serious-september' (when people start realizing that bikinis and tans are 'fun and all' but not really the recipe for a satisfying future)...

this holiday season is the time of the year when people want to hope in something.

and not just anything.

they want to believe. not only in the magic of christmas and the fresh start of a new year, but in themselves and in their choices.

it's something in the air.

something that makes people long for love. hope for progression. and take steps towards...whatever.

whether that means the tragic realization that it's time to separate ways with one you have loved. or the beautiful uniting of something new.


i picture the intense glow of a rockstar-size-diamond upon that young girl's finger. and i find myself cynically wondering how 'real' this one may be. and how long it may/may not last.

that couple. the one that's known each other less than a year. the things they don't know. the things they will have to work through. the things that scare me...that i try not to think about...


i guess this is where i just may not understand. my inbred logic from my father and learned argumentative ways from boyfriends past often keep me from seeing beyond what the eyes can see. seeing into the sincerity of a heart and of the meaning behind such a commitment.

and i realize. i haven't given credit where credit is due.

because there are things that they do know.

they know that they are in love. they know that the symbolism behind that stunning ring gives them something to hope for. and truly something to believe in.

and nope, there is nothing wrong with that.

so--for those of you ready to embrace this next year--in desperate need of a new start. hoping that you can let go of whatever it is--people or experiences--that may be keeping you back.

my prayer for you is that you will find yourselves again. and that you will clearly understand and support the choices you have made and will make in the future.

i know how it feels. and it sucks. bad.

letting go of someone or something that you've loved is probably one of the most intense forms of torture upon this earth.

you try so hard to remind yourself of the bad. and all you really want to remember is the good.

but please.

you know you need to let go. so please. let it go. let it go kristen.

cling to what is real. and forget about what is not.

and to those of you--also full of hope--committing, taking steps forward, making changes for this upcoming year.

my prayer for you is that you will embrace the changes that you have encouraged. and move forward with every ounce of passion in your beautiful little self.

keep it alive. keep reality in perspective. and go at it with everything you've got.

everything you've got kristen.

'is this all?' my-chesty-emo-friend asked me as she swiped the mascara barcode on the scanner between us.

yeah, i began to respond as i opened my wallet to pull out my debit card...

and then stopped and looked up.

the slight scowl on her face was enough to scare off any innocent passer-by. her size was slightly intimidating...being that she could easily beat the shiz out of me.

but truth-be-told, her pale skin was close to flawless. her black hair hung straight and gave off extra luster. and the depth behind her insanely green eyes was almost shocking.

truly beautiful.

i'm sure she had a story. i'm sure there was a reason she didn't feel like smiling at that moment. and that was okay. thank heavens darling, it's that time of year.

a fresh start. for you. for me. for everyone.

i smiled. and asked.

have you ever had diet ibc?

Sunday, December 11, 2011

needing a little pick-me-up.

hold your head high gorgeous.
people would kill to see you fall.

monday, bring it on.

oh, and listen to this song. and enjoy.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

past due.

so i meant to post these hawaii trip pics back in november.
and it simply never happened.


and for those of you who are new to my blog...
this picture is somewhat significant in my life.
up until this trip,
stand-up paddle boarding had been a fantasy-bucket-list item of mine.
this was honestly one of the most amazing vacations of my life.
so happy i was able to see my rad-little-hippie-of-a-sister.
and spend time with my family and friends.

so much love goin' round this place.

p.s. again, i just barely added a 'join this site' button on the right side column.
if you want an easier way to follow the blog, just click on that.

Friday, December 2, 2011

awww december. my ol' friend.

this month gives me goosebumps.


it's in the air. it's down the streets. it's practically humming christmas tunes through the winds (which are ridiculously strong right now--anyone living in the western united states knows what i'm talking about)

you see, i'm not one for expectations. in fact, i despise them. unrealistic attitudes and foresight's all-too-often lead to someone being let down or hurt. or disappointed.

i avoid run-in's with mr. disappointment at all costs.

yeah yeah. don't judge me. i know there is about a million and one sayings out there going on about not being afraid to fail. to take a big leap...hoping to fly. and then you'll end up inventing a light bulb or becoming the next steve jobs or something.

and those are great. honestly, they are.

but i try to balance those out with my realist philosophies that life is the way it is. we know from experience that if we decide we're going to loose twenty pounds in one week and be a millionaire by next tuesday...we're probably going to fall short.

i know right, sucky realism.

because when it comes down to it, i could all-together stop eating from here on out. and i still wouldn't loose twenty pounds by next friday. and i could totally work my a** off and enter my name into every cash prize drawing in the western united states...and i think we all know i'm not going to be a millionaire by tuesday.

i'm sorry. this is probably like being told there is no santa clause for all of you "the secret" believers out there. and--hey--maybe i'm wrong.

it's just the ridiculous expectation thing that really gets me.

the exact reason why i choose to not celebrate valentines day.

don't get me wrong--i'm as hopelessly romantic as the next girl down the line--but the celebrating of sugar-candied-truffle-box-of-high-expectations-and-unresolved-relationship-insecurities-holiday is just not my thing.

it makes me feel ridiculously uncomfortable just thinking about it. bleeeeh.

being required to show someone, through some grand gesture--that outdoes all the other 'grand gestures'--on the oh-so-coveted february 14th, that you really, truly, deeply, madly love them.


why not just do something special for that someone on a random tuesday or wednedsday or friday? or delight her with a clean house when she arrives home from a long day? or schedule a saturday out for him golfing with his buddies while you watch the kids?

that's the stuff that i consider 'not-eeeeeky'.

the cheeseball-i'm-only-gonna-do-this-once-a-year-so-eat-it-up-and-swallow-it-down-with-a-crystal-glass-of-high-expectations thing.

yeah. i opt out of that one.

yeah yeah, so i have issues with setting the bar too high. but it's true. it's easier in many situations (not all but many) to just lower your expectations and find yourself pleased later on.

that's why i hesitate in saying this...but something about december always leaves me expecting something magical (insert twinkling noises)

kinda like this picture.

and no--not necessarily love related.

it doesn't really have to pertain to any certain genre. the only category that it has to fit into is a moment of 'magical'.

whether it's being swept down a curb in a darling dress coat and kitten heels by the hunky-man-of-your-dreams. or watching it softly snow while you sit bundled up with some steamy raspberry hot cocoa in a perfect little mug.

or watching that beautiful new baby boy slowly grow into his own features. week by week. looking more and more like his parents everyday.

maybe it's a moment with old friends visiting. or a brief couple of seconds where that stranger opens the door for you and exclaims--with so much joy it almost rings like a holiday melody--'merry christmas!'

perhaps it's feeling some life run through your veins. maybe falling in love. or a moment of adrenaline as you think of all the possibilities to be found in the upcoming year.

the thought of a second chance.

the inclination to make something right. the desire to serve others around you. the passion that this time of year illuminates within each and every one of us.

mmmmgh, yeah.

magic, i tell ya.


so with every high expectation i've ever had. with every broken bar of what "i thought" something was going to be. and with every fear i have of wanting something to be more than it was destined to amount to.

to this december, i say...

may you be the most inspiring and magical december yet.


p.s. i just added a 'join this site' button on the right column. i decided to make it slightly easier to follow my blog. ha ha. #behindiknow