Saturday, January 14, 2012

just like couples do.

i have one wish.

a wish for a little something. that couples do.

and i realize, i’m not completely deserving. yes, of course i realize that.

i’m not perfect. i’ll never claim to be.

impossibly difficult doesn’t even begin to describe how stubborn i can be at times--you know, when you catch me on the wrong day or during a more ‘emotionally sensitive’ time of the month.

moderately ocd is a more-than-generous-way of labeling my dishwasher-color-material-sorting, endless-bleach-sinking, visually-controlled-mind.

and sure, i struggle--more than some--with handing over the reins when i think things should be done my way.

i have weird habits. yeah, i get that. like oreos for example. i pull the cookie apart. take the side without the frosting, break it into a few decent size pieces and then ‘scoop’ them into the frosting from the other half. whatever frosting i don’t use, i throw away and then eat the other chocolately half of the cookie.

num-num.

and yes, i have a defensive nature that is sometimes uncalled for. in my defense, i believe that it comes from being the oldest and having two very much-too-beautiful sisters. i couldn’t help wanting to kick the sorry-a of any guy that treated them in a way i didn’t approve of.

i still do.

so yeah, i’m not deserving. i realize.

i’m prideful. i have this fire within me that has been kindled over the years, where i refuse to be walked on or taken advantage of or put in a position where i will get hurt. and i’m not the quickest to forgive when i feel i’ve been wronged.

and though i think they rock, i guess i do want to name my children strange names like ‘valley’ (yup, sounds like it’s spelled) and ‘mila’ (m-eye-la).

i get it. i’m weird. but still, there is this thing that couples do.

yes, yes. i know i get grumpy in the cold and no, i will not be a happy camper if you insist on taking pictures of me when i’m having “one of those days”--that all females have--where nothing seems to be going well. hair is not working. butt seemed to get bigger over night. and the zit forming on the ol’ chin appears to be extraterrestrial.

yeah, don’t take a picture of me on those days. i’m not gonna like it (just a friendly note from the females of the world--probably avoid that if you can).

i know, i know.

i’m not always the optimistic delight you’d probably wish for. sugar and spice and everything nice--sadly not really me.

you’ll probably get sick of my obsessive list composing. wonder how i can drink so much diet coke. and want to scream at me for always having an opinion. cause yes, i always do. and most of the time i freely express it.

like i said, noooooot perfect. i get that, k?

and at the end of the day, i’ll be the first one to admit it.

i’m undeserving. but still.

there is just a little something that couples do. that i really, truly want.



my wish.

to come home, to a kitchen much like this (uh-huh. perfect, i know).

with you--darling--standing there. one of your playlists of mellow music playing in the background--the kind i like. you'll stand there. work clothes still on. top collar button loosened--making the chicken that i left you instructions for.

i’ll set down my bag and slip off my heals.

‘how was your day?’ i’ll ask. like most couples do.

you’ll turn around, as to be expected. and my hands will wrap around your waist. i’ll prop my head against your chest, giving you time to brush your lips across my forehead.

the tom petty track that was playing will switch.

and some sidney bechet “si tu vois ma mere” will begin playing.

a little bit of magic will fill the air (as it always does when this song comes on, no matter where you are in the world).

time will stand still. you will pull me in tight and say, “it was fine love. how was yours?”

just like couples do.

we’ll kiss.

you’ll turn back toward the chicken and i’ll start chopping the vegetables for the salad as we chat about this meeting and that co-worker. and haggle over our weekend plans.

si tu vois ma mere will linger in the air.

and we’ll go about our evening.

you'll turn on your espn. i'll scroll through my instagram and throw on my gym clothes.

just like couples do.



so deserving or not, that is my wish.

there it is.





and seriously. listen to that song here. it's my "it's-a-beautiful-life" song.

1 comment:

  1. This is charming. You deserve that wish darling.

    ReplyDelete

from keen.