Wednesday, February 8, 2012

eh-hem. i blame february.

i won't ask for much. i can take care of myself. and i can take care of you. no trouble, really.

my dad taught me well (he's a smart dude) and my mom never let me become weak (i mean, this woman physically fought her way through her high school years in the ghetto of san bernardino. wait, what? you haven't heard those stories??? shoot, come on over. shell-bell's got some tales to tell)

so those factors, combined with my innate desire to fix any and all problems of the world--i can pretty much guarantee that i can handle it.

no issues there.

but. there is one thing. one thing, that i'd like to ask for. one thing that i can't really take care of myself.

and darling, it's all i want. and is the one and only thing that i truly need.



so, hold me.

that's it. that's all.

in that most perfect way that all guys can.

that convincing closeness, that leaves me certain there's nowhere else you'd rather be.

just for that moment, let me breath in that height of perfection. let me linger in that place of safety and protection. let me believe--for just a simple minute out of all the crazy-ass moments of the day--that nothing will ever get to me again.

and no, you don't need some white stallion or some grand romantic gesture (that makes me feel eeeeky anyways. i'm so awkward. really, soooo awkward.)

because babe--as you hold me, the world is good. darkness is conquered by light. and fear is replaced with invincibility.

the world is all acai bowls with honey granola, dark chocolate covered almonds, and perfectly-dense diet coke as far as i'm concerned (all my current obsessions--and pretty much all i eat).

no matter my worries. no matter the things i'm not telling you. the things that are secretly killing me inside...feeling that secure arm of yours bring me in tighter. mmmgh, yep. that's the ticket.


in fact, it makes me giddy. so giddy, that i want to write and write some more (ha ha, bet you couldn't guess that one)

nouns and adjectives of all forms and flavors begin dancing through my head, as my visually-driven mind attempts to adequately understand the height of this moment.

like that novel i recently read. with words that were strung together with such omnitude and grace.

yes dear, that is how this moment feels.

so pull me a little closer.

watch your ball game. laugh at comedy central. talk about your day. make fun of my driving. or just close your eyes and fall asleep. doesn't matter (really, i'm cool with the ish guys find entertaining. as long as you show me the love--you can watch as much espn as your lil' heart desires)

as long as you keep me there. and make it close. please.

and let me stay.

just for a small while, yeah?

ok.




and then, of course. as all stories go--you can let me go.

i'll continue on. i'll do my thing. i'll pack up my bag for the day, put on my make-up (ok, maybe no make up--it really just depends on the day--just realized i put on make up for the first time in 4 days last night. ha ha. my poor-poor future husband)

and yes, i'll go make it happen.

that's what i'm good at.




so just hold me. i promise not to ask for much.



p.s. this isn't my fault. i blame february for such childish talk.

picture from here.




4 comments:

  1. Just learned of your blog from your post onto facebook. I love it. You could not have explained that any better. I feel the exact same way!

    ReplyDelete
  2. A February song for a February post about February things.

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  3. Wow I'm so impressed with your web address, I tried to get my name as my website but I think it's been taken since the invention of the Internet. I think you expressed things in a awesome way. I pretty much think for the most part no one can articulate better then I can but hun you beat me :-) keep up the openness and honesty.
    -alex

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow I'm so impressed with your web address, I tried to get my name as my website but I think it's been taken since the invention of the Internet. I think you expressed things in a awesome way. I pretty much think for the most part no one can articulate better then I can but hun you beat me :-) keep up the openness and honesty.
    -alex

    ReplyDelete

from keen.